There is no magic pill, do or do not

There is no magic pill to make the changes you want in your life or is it?

In this article we explore why people don’t succeed when following a magical recipe to achieve their goals and how we can change that.

We can’t change anything if we believe that coaching programs, diets or any kind of training are like a magic pill that will transform who we are without being accountable and persistant.

Expectations vs Reality

For any kind of transformation that you are purposely working for, you will require time. How much? It will depend on your level of commitment, your own capacity to adapt and change, many external factors that act in a direct way in your life and your own mental attitude.

We should always look into expectations with skepticism and avoid magical thinking. It is better to be as realistic as possible to have an idea of how challenging it will be so we can bring up all the energy required to go through. Because our brain is lazy and doesn’t like to make big efforts or spend too much energy, we need to trick him.

Once we have corrected any sort of magical thinking and approach the tasks to complete our goals, we need to keep us vigilant from day dreaming into magical thinking again, specially those moments where we feel lazy or unable to commit. The best way to do this is to take a slight step backward and see how much you have improved so far and look into the whole process with the same skepticism, seeing all the good and the bad too. Where are we feeling successful and well driven and where we need to make corrections.

To do or not to do?

Now the best course of action is to set ourselves into motion. Doing is always better than not doing, unless not doing is the doing.

How can we see the difference? One person told me once that if I was doubtful about something it was better not do and wait. But then are you going to keep waiting all your life to be certain about something in order to start doing? It can be tricky because under certain circumstances, is better to do and some others is better not to.

The big question is: How much am I ready to risk? Are you ready to risk your professional position, your financial situation, your relationship status, your physique, your on going lifestyle, your thoughts and the stories you tell to yourself at night before sleep, your values, your honor? Where is your limit, and how much are you willing to risk in order to achieve your goals? In other words, how much value do you give to that objetive, dream or vision in comparisson to your present life?

The 80/20 rule of life

Sometimes we are going to be 100% sure about something, but even with that level of determiantion, we will never know exactly what are going to be our results, unless we put ourselves into action, so I say there is never 100% certainty about nothing…

Thats why I like the idea of the 80/20 rule. If I am 80% certain and determinated about something then is worth to take the risks and set into action. Life is constantly moving and so are we, so we can’t expect the same level of anything all the time forever. But if the 80% persists within a certain range (70% to 100%), then its a go. If it goes below my underlimit and I am certain this is what I wanted but many things have made my energy, focus, etc to become so low, then I should to take a small pause. A “not doing” kind of doing and see what happens. Taking distance gives us perspective and let us renew our energy and convictions.

We do the same thing with strength, flexibility and almost any kind of training. We have very high volume weeks and then we have low level weeks where we deload and release the stress produced by the high training so our body can adapt to all the new adaptations it has gone through.

Weight lose diets includes cheat meals from time to time, to do the same kind of effect in our psychology and hormonal levels. We need to decompress and make a safe pause to release the tension produced.

The right program

We have talked so much in other articles in this blog about the importance of mindset and how to keep it up and the fundamental necessity to turn into action our dreams to transform them into achievable goals and long term objectives. Yes but one thing that will surely help us to stay on that 80% level and get the results we want is the right program or guide.

It is true that at the beginning doing anything is better than nothing, but as we advance we need a program that help us specifically to get where we want to be. Thats why there are so many coaches like me out there trying to teach you with their systems how to do something. How to get those results. Again, without an action driven attitude and the right mindset is impossible to persevere and succeed.

What we need is to follow the plan with commitment and staying accountable. When this two things are clear, 80% of the job is done. That is why a coach can be so helpful, because you will get a specific program and an accountability partner to go throughout the process succesfully. In the end you are doing the hard job, nobody is going to take it off from you, but as soon as you start getting results you will understand how much of importance is to have a great coach with you.

Do you want to get serious and real results? Call me and lets start our journey together!

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How much do you owe to yourself

In this article we will put a light into why we still feel like we owe something to ourselves and we ain’t doing something about it.

Why is it that we postpone those activities that have a direct effect on our personal life but still we don’t commit to them? Why is it that we struggle so much with our personal discipline in comparison to being commited to external things and other people?

Basically we need to understand that there is a natural resistance to commit to personal disciplines because they change the way we live and there is an area of us that doesn’t want this change. We kind of want the benefits of a certain habit or activity but we don’t want to transform our whole lifestyle in order to stay commited.

There is also a biological factor, the way we live, think, feel, express, learn, etc meaning any experience is determined by our nervous system, so any change that we might want to make, we will have to make it also in our own brain. This is a big effort for him, it requires lots of energy, create new neuronal connections, reinforce them by repetition and basically teaching to our body the new way to be and do. Because our entire system took so many years to be the way it is, the older we get the harder is to change it. Its just too much work.

Fortunately this can change and its called neuroplasticity, the more we engage into new experiences, learn new stuff and keep healthy “brain workout” habits, the more we increase our possibilities to transform inside out. Travelling, meditation, languages, math, physical training, are just a few of ways to make our system to change.

Priority check

What are your priorities? What have been your priorities for the past 10 or 5 years? What priorities would you like to change or renew? Taking some time to reflect into our priorities is the best way to discard anything that we might believe we want but we are not prioritizing, because in the end if we are always feeling like we could do more or something different but we are never engaging actively into it, then the number one reason is that we don’t really want do it. Being honest to ourselves is good and we should not be embarassed to accept that we don’t want to look fit, we don’t want to stop eating ice cream or we don’t want to change our social lifestyle.

The priority meter

One good exercise is to make a list of your priorities, usually something in between 6 to 12, you draw a circle, give to each one of them a current level of accomplishment from 1 to 10 and ask yurself in a short term how much you would like to improve their level and what actions are you going to take right now to do so. Write down the date and hang it on the wall in a very visible way so you never lose sight of your priority activities.

Spot your kind of resistance

Right after you know your priorities with certainty you will want to spot on what kind of resistances you will have to beat up. I believe this is as important as the first part because we may do the motivational coaching job to define our next goals a thousand times and never really getting them. We need to know our enemy that lies in the shadows and we know it very well, it is just so good at hidding itself. Here is a list of the most common resistances that we all might have.

  • Attachment, addiction.
  • Comfort, lazyness.
  • Evasion, procrastination.
  • Overthinking, doubt.
  • Fear, distrust.
  • Lack of motivation and vision.

Once you have clarity over your main resistances you will be able to create a strategy to overcome them and step forward towards a life in which you feel really happy and connected to your own self, with the peace that you are actually doing everything that is in you to feel that way and having the results you wanted.

Accountability peers and coaching

Asking for help is one of the simplest way to introduce changes in our life, changing our social circle, having an accountability partner, sorround yourself with people with same goals and aspirations, and so on. Because there are some neurons that act as mirror and they literally copy the neurons of other people, we can induce behavioral changes by imitating how others drive their life.

Finally having a coach can be very transformative in various ways and can help you to jump from level 0 to 100 faster and better. Not because a coach is a divine being, but because is a person that has studied and perfectioned techniques to do so. Also because to be a coach and set an example to others, that individual had to overcome his/her own negligence. In the end nobody is an exception to the rule, we are all human beings with sort of the same problems and challenges.

If you want to get a call with me just send me a DM and will happily help you as much as I can.

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Master the art of repetition success

In this blog post we will review what do we need to do in order to get to the level we want to be, which I believe if you are reading this article, is the best you can achieve.

For anything you want to be good at you need to practice it and that means repetition. For many people sounds boring and they just give up the idea of becoming great at something, and that is what separates normal people from profesionals and it is also what separates them from true masters.

Repetition is the key to mastery because we teach our brain the skills that are necessary to be the best we can. We teach our body how to move, how to sleep and wake up, we teach our mind how to think and how to manage our feelings and emotions. We teach ourselves how to deal with any external situation, how to overcome any challenge.

Only by repeating we discover the power that the practice has in us and we are able to meet our goals. Until the day we are completely incapacitated or dead we can always try again. So repeat and repeat and repeat, when bored or tired, take a short break, inspire yourself with the world outside and then continue repeating until the end.

The Mastery Mindset

If you want to become the best version of yourself then you will want to know what is the mindset required for that. Maybe you are half aware of it, but if our mindset is not clear, then the ritual to keep that mindset “on” will not be clear and in the end we will fall from the most typical mistake we all do; To not even know how to be constantly connected and conscious of what sort of thoughts, emotions and just any other habit to be the person you want to be.

So the fact is that when we put ourselves into any kind of endeavour we will have to do things that don’t produce instant pleasure, in fact they will make us suffer. Like leaving sugar or waking up at 5am or stop going to the bar after work and instead visit our parents. If you decided to become a doctor and you are not willingly to study and have thousands of over nights shifts, then just don’t waste your own time and don’t start something that you are not willing to finish up.

Said this, the three most desired components to have the best mindset are: Relentlesness, focus and commitment.

The meaningful sacrifice

There are small sacrifices and big sacrifices we all make regardless of who we are and where we come from. We are constantly making choices, some of them lead us closer to the life we want and others not. In the end we can’t really know if our decisions were the right ones until is too late, we make mistakes and thats part of life too. We can prevent some of them by being more aware and improve our decision making skills.

Even said all this, in some moment, we need to sacrifice something to reach the new level we want. Maybe we need to leave those friends that only do trash talk and drinking and instead meet people with common goals and activities. Maybe we need to sleep less time, and maybe we need to be ultra organized with our time. But for whatever it is, is better to make this sacrifices a conscious one and choose them from your own will rather than let life force you into sacrifices you didn’t even wanted. You can choose to be a drift or navigate the storms you chose.

When you own your sacrifice, then you recognize the value of your energy and time and real trust surges from within. Nobody will ever be able manipulate you or seduce you out from your life purpose. You will own your life, your challenges will be yours to take and you will have and build the strength to go through out any storm victorious.

The desired atributes

Imagine you are an amazing artisan doing your thing. What are the most important atributes that you would need to be that artisan?

Think about this for a minute and then ask your self, if you have those atributes. If you have them, give yourself a mark of your current level and ask yourself how can you improve them.

How much time do you spend in your craft? How much concentration do you put while at it? Are you 100% present all the time when working for that in which you want to get a real mastery? What are the external circumstances that won’t let you do that and what are the internal habits and attitudes that are really not helping you out.

If you are ready to give a step forward, then show your level of commitment and let go those things that are opposing your purpose. If you are trully that passionate and confident about it, you will find the way to change the cards and transform your life completely.

The environement

Changing our environment is as important as changing from the inside. Little transformations give a great refreshment and more doable than big environment changes. Here is a list of things to take care of when wanting to really focus and become the best version of yourself.

  • Tidy up your home and office frecuently.
  • Have a specific place for your activity.
  • Speak with positive minded people that makes you feel all is possible.
  • Have a way to express your frustrations and fears so they don’t intoxicate you.
  • Separate yourself from energy vampires and toxic friends and family.
  • Spend quality time with your beloved.
  • Go out to nature as frecuently as possible.
  • Walk!

The last resource

The last resource is the first resource and that is you. By learning how to meditate and breath with awareness you will learn how to unlock stored energy, transform any sort of negative emotion and enjoy your life with quality.

Do it daily and anytime. 5 minutes is better than none and what you win by repeating the act of sitting down and connect to yourself by breathing is priceless.

You can be doing this while you perform any other thing and it makes it one of the best tools to access our nervous system and hack it to become truly masters of ourselves.

I wish you a great sucess in everything you do.

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Core Habits: Why everybody should know about them

The key to act in consequence with our inner truth is rooted in the habits that will help you grow and nurture your most important objectives and purpose.

This article will help you understand what core habits are and why you should have a clear vision about them.

Identifying our habits

We all have habits, thats a clear thing, but not all of them have the same importance or we prioritize them in the same manner. When we are kids we are normally taught basic habits by our parents and teachers at school to help us adapt and progress through life. Some of those we as adult may keep and others not.

Then as young adults we start choosing all sort of new habits that are closer to our personal interest, but we don’t always succeed on growing them because of lack of motivation and discipline.

If I could ask anyone how many habits do you have and how many of them did you choose, how many of them do you work consistently on or how many of your habits are you aware of. I wouldn’t be surprised to find that somebody ansers: “I am not sure how many habits do I have, maybe most of my current habits were grown at a young age motivated by my enviorenment, I can only work consistently in 1 or 2 habits, maybe I am not fully aware of all my habits”.

When speaking about habits I like to separate them into 3 categories, external habits, internal habits, unconscious habits.

The external habits are those that represent any kind of behavior that is directly related to our occupation, relationships and self expression. Like at what hour do you wake up, how many days do you workout, your working hour schedules and routines, how do you intercat with others and what sort of relationships do you build. Basically anything that requires to interact direclty with the outside world.

The internal habits are subconscious layers of our behaviors that happen in our psyche. Emotional patterns, mental patterns and the interaction between them that normally fuel and motivate our external habits. “I workout because it makes me feel happy” for example, could be seen as only one habit, but in reality is formed by a group of them, external and internal repeteative actions that together build up the behavior and the habit.

Also everytime I get angry or lose patience I shout to the person that apparently is to blame, afterwards I feel guilt for my lack of self control and this generates a feeling of distrust, sadness and frustration, which may be strengthening a current habit that is always present in all my relationships, but because people accept the way I act, then the habit is never changed.

So we could observe all the habits going on in that sequence and understand why I can never feel real happiness within myself and my couple. In that sense we need to understand that habits don’t work as a singular action, they are all related to each other like a plate of pasta, making it hard to recognize where is the begining or the end.

The third kind of habits, the “unconscious” are all the habits that we constantly do and we aren’t aware of. So basically most of them unless you have done a big job indentifying how your pshyche is built and also, you are consciously choosing every word you think and say, every aspect of your life and how you manage every relationship. Personally I believe that being fully aware of everything is an endless work and the risk is to fall into an over-restrictive and excesive control way of life, that in result can bring stress and unhappiness overall if there is no balance and healthy ways to manage yourself.

The Habit Hierarchy

One solution to become aware in a healthy way of our habits is to learn their hierarchy, basically giving them a value and focusing on those who are really important. By prioritizing our habits we also learn to be coherent with our truth and core values.

The question we need to ask is: To which values are my habits related?

When we start taking care of the most important habits that define our current life, the way we act, the way we feel, the way we look, the way we think, the way we share and connect to others, then all the rest of our behaviors, patterns and small habits will fall like domino pieces. The seceret is to take care of the root first and then take precise attention over the branches, if necessary.

Core values and Core Habits

Once you have identified your top 5 core habits (the ones that basically sustain who you are internally and externally) is good to get a deeper understanding about them by making a cross comparisson to your core values. If there is a habit that is not coherent with any of the most important values it means that there is somethig you will want to change.

Either you change that habit or review your values and check if that is who you really are and want to be. By addressing your values and habits you build a powerful structure that will give support to your overall life. Also by identifying your core values you will know why and what really motivates you, which will be transfered as a fluid energy source for you and your daily life.

Here are a set of questions to help you recognize the core habits that you need to reach any objective in your life.

  • What are the 3 most important things in my life?
  • What do I do in a daily and weekly basis to nurture this parts of my life?
  • What am I not doing but I know I should be doing to get better on this 3 aspects or objectives?
  • What values motivate me to have this habits in my life and get better at them?
  • Which habits could I change or let go to prioritize those that are most important to me?

Please share your answers with me and this blog post with your friends if you feel it can help anybody to improve their life!

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How to become self motivated and why

When all lights go down, is the light from within that gives us the energy to keep going towards our goals.

In this post I will give you 4 rituals to become a self motivated person and why this should be a priority in your life.

How does a self motivated person acts in a daily base?

A self motivated person is able to control her mindset in order to achieve her goals and dreams. If you learn how to get up by your own means without depending on any external factor you will win freedom and power. That is why is so important to understand how your psyche works together with your good and bad habits, in order to tweak and reinforce those that will bring you to your desired destiny.

If you depend too much in other people and external circumstances in order to feel motivated enough to move, you will always be “forced” by this external circumstances and will be too easy to lose sight of your priorities and purpose. In one hand we learn to make peace with all those things that are not under our control, in the other hand if we let them they can manipulate our energy, motivation and even destroy our dreams and hopes , our personal beliefs will be changed by “life circumstances” and we will lose our personal power to transform and thrive, you will find yourself under the control of everything or everyone else except you.

How can I become self motivated?

Basically you need rituals that teaches to your own system (psychological and neurological) how to be resilient and persistent. Those rituals should help you to remember why you started in the first place and how to keep in rail even if you are moving slow or fast. Also, you may need to cut off people and activities that are not helping you to be and think differently, that are distracting you from who you want to become, especially those that drain your energy and time.

Here I present you 4 rituals to become a self motivated person!

The awakening ritual: Write down on the wall your most important goals, read them every day and visualize yourself already there, every day when you wake up or when you go to sleep. Discover your big “WHY” and repeat it like a mantra. Use a special song that reinforce those feelings and images, everytime you feel down or under difficulties, listen to the song or playlist. Make it easy to remember with other elements such as a set of colors, an animal or clothes. For example: “Everyday after I leave my child at the school, I listen to my playlist and declare that this day I am making one more step to reach my goals”.

The movement ritual: Our brain makes better and stronger connections when we use physical movement while learning new intellectual things, such as memorizing something, doing math, etc. We can use anything movement related such as dance, martial arts, training, running, etc. to empower our beliefs, our vision, our goals, steps, and almost everything else. Make your “dance of success” or your own “motivational training” by combining both activities. Do it daily at anytime.

The creative ritual: When feeling stuck or unable to bring fast solutions for our challenges it is common to lose momentum. In order to get out of the black hole, creativity is our best friend. Paint, draw, play an instrument, write a story, make anything with your hands, play with your kids, use colors and tell your story on those pieces of creation, paint your dreams and wishes. Make lists of everything that needs a potential solution and write them down. Do some brainstorming and connect your ideas, the solutions and what can you do right now to start making progress.

The gratitude ritual: Gratitude is a powerful emotion that transforms all negative thinking and emotion. Give thanks for your life, give thanks for your opportunities and for your challenges, because is thanks to them that you reach your next level or desired goal. Especially give thanks to yourself from the past that led you to this present moment, that took the chances, that believed more than anyone else that it was possible. Give yourself a big thank you and embrace all your imperfections because even with them, you were able to move forward. Every night before sleeping show yourself some self gratitude and go to sleep with this feeling.

What else now?

One big reason we lose motivation is that we don’t have a sense of urgency or we wrongly believe that things can go back as they were before. What will happen if I fail? Then I can just go back being the person I once was?

Wrong. We are getting old. We are heading towards death. We are never the same, we can’t go back. Staying attached to a certain status quo will only make us lose the most important asset we’ve got, which is time.

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3 tools to wake up the fire of determination

Learn 3 tools to wake up the fire of determination and never let anything to stop you from getting what you want and becoming who you want to be.

Are you lacking the determination required to make any change in your life? Do you consider yourself a determined person when it comes to be 100% committed? What is the reason that some people can have the conviction to follow a path all the way in and many others don’t?

Why you should learn how to fire up and cut the crap quickly?

Life works with cycles and without them, probably it would lose the capacity to keep on going and evolving.

That’s right, the way we progress is by cycles too and we should aim to understand and set up our priorities accordingly. One of the biggest mistakes is to believe things are linear and we just need to go straight forward onto them.

So naturally we feel the desire to get something new and to do so we will need to make some adjustments on our daily habits in order to get it. The problem comes when we are not fully aware of our own cycles, so we expect to “work” with the same intensity all the time, for example. This bring us to deception and repetitive failure, which can make us feel frustration, guilt, anger, etc.

What will mostly happen is that we will need extra energy and time to get fired up again, and if we don’t know exactly how to do it efficiently, then we will quit that endeavour by calling it too difficult, not the right time, not enough “insert skill here”, and so on.

Most skillful and successful people know exactly what to do when having their fire down, because they create a ritual or a group of actions to change it.

Understanding our motivation cycles

A wise-man shaman told me once that motivation is not enough to transform your life, that is only the beginning. If motivation is like a big fire in your heart, then determination is the spark that started it.

So let set an example, imagine that tomorrow you are starting a new diet, and by the 3rd day you go out with some friends and eat some slices of your favorite pizza. Most of us will feel guilt and after that will decide to re start the diet next week to fill up again with enough determination (strength). Which predictable we are not gonna start it again in any close date.

So we want to change this and we are not sure of how. Well, first take notes of all your failures and successes and try to understand how your “motivation cycle works”. What do you do to feel motivated enough and then what do you do to start, and after what do you do to “fail” or “succeed”. Once you get a clear understanding on how do you work internally, then is time to make some changes into that.

We will want to avoid repeating the cycles that brought us to failure, but because we are never really free from them, we should aim to build a protective mindset mechanism that will allow us to fall deep enough to quit(again).

How to start the fire “again”?

Get a goal, make a simple plan and start with what you can and have at the moment.

Sounds easy… but is not.

We will need 3 items to be able to start our fire again and again until we become very skillful and we basically stop noticing any deep changes in our mood and discipline.

Item #1: A ritual to make you spark on anytime and anywhere. It can be some sort of dance, getting out in nature, a conversation with a very like minded and positive friend or coach. Anything that as soon as you do it, makes you feel again the spark to start over and continue. I used to watch some motivational videos in youtube, made a playlist that I would listen everyday after work and would go directly to my training session, no distractions in the middle.

Item #2: The right mindset. Which basically means to understand that life is about cycles, that there are always going to be ups and downs, that perfection is an unattainable ghost, that nothing is so bad or so good, and we can always start again, no matter our age or anything else. The more we cultivate the right mindset, the less danger to quit or dwell into frustration, guilt and other negative emotions and thoughts.

Item #3: An object that remind us who we are, why we started and help us keep our faith in ourselves intact. It can be anything that regardless of the tides of life will always remember us our own value. We need conviction and a recordatory of it. It can be a song, a photo, a certain emotion or experience. Anything that keep us anchored to our inner strength and purpose. I like using a visual recordatory on the wall that I can see everyday.

What now? What else is needed? Am I ready to become a 100% fully determined person that will never let my failures put me down again so I can strive to be the best version of myself?

YES! and not exactly. Why? Because of course this requires practice and repetition, over and over and over. So my sincere wish is that you learn to see failure as your best friend and as new opportunities to master your determination.

There is no specific order in how to apply this tools, just concentrate in repeating them, making changes from time to time. Build up your winning ritual, write down the exact words to cultivate the right mindset and keep your object of anchorage close to you. The rest is just practice and nothing else.

Have a fully determined day starting right now!

If you found this blog article interesting, share it with your friends and family!

Peace.

Félix.

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Follow your Heart

Undoubtfully, our heart always knows our hidden truth. For some reason this will always apply, regardless of any situation. If we could just focus on what our heart and intuition has to say for us, we could really walk our daily life without all the mumbling that our mind has. 

One day a friend asked me what did I do with all my preocupations when speaking about decisions for our life. And I just told her, “I quit them”. Just plainly and simply, I was cornered to a position in which whatever I could do, would solve none of my problems. And at this situation the only thing I could really do was to quit thinking about my problems and just “go with the flow” with whatever decision I took.

Suddenly this became a mayor wisdom for me, because the only thing left for me, was a huge amount of determination that I could really use in my everyday life to just go through whatever it was tossed to me. It was’t that my problems disapeared from me, I just understood one simple principle, “the only thing i really had, was my present moment”. And at this level, when you understand this and you really start living it, then every preocupation, fear and doubt, just go away. You stop thinking about what might be, and you start doing what you can with what you’ve got. And life turns simply into a matter of doing and following this energy of determination and will. Like if suddenly you could grab the wave, and you would just flow with it, without thinking about anything else.

I’ve been travelling and having deep conversations through all my journeys with different people from all over the world, and many of them, eventually would say me something like, “wow, Félix, you are so inspiring”. And this, far from getting me into feeling like a better person, just make me realize that probably is because of the passion and positivity from which I tell my stories.

One day I just realized that our past is imposible to change, but the way you talk about your past, is completly changeable. The words you choose to describe how your life is and how is going to be, are 100% up to you. And after this I just focused on changing the way I saw myself. My grandmother would always say, “It all depends on the point of view, from where you choose to see”. And this profound grandma wisdom, was one of the keys to turn my life into a positive and heartfull experience.

Because whatever you are doing, where you are living, whatever your job is, your carreer or your lifestyle. There are two facts imposible to deny, one is that you are alive, and the second is that you are going to die. So whatever you choose from now on, I would really implore to you, that you start following your heart from here on.

Stop making fearfull decisions, stop making excuses, stop acting and playing. Start doing what you heart tells you to do. And you will discover that our heart, is always positive, is always full of love and is always right. 

Let yourself be inspired by life, let yourself be.

Purpose

Once upon a time, there was a child, who would look into the stars and ask, why am I here? For what reason I came to live in the place I do? And this questions became an important thing to find out, so at the age of 11, I started to be interested in philosophy and different ways of understanding what was going on, why should I go to school, or why was important to do what adults where stating to be “important”. And what happened is that, I never found any answers, not until I was already an adult in my mid twenties. Even going to University, to study and deepen my knowledge in phylosophy, could not help me find any clue about life itself and my own purpose. So my decision at that moment was to drop it, and just start having all kind of experiences for which, someday, they would help me comprehend and not only understand, all that “phylosophycal knowledge”.

After some years, had a relationship break up, and also a life changing experience. One day, just as normal as any other, I took a profound and deep decision with myself. To love who I was, no matter what. To accept everything I was at that very moment, and open up to feel that life loved me as part of everything else. That day, I decided to start making decisions with my heart and with love as my number one pillar. Nothing that others could do or say about me, would matter to me anymore, and the only one that I would listen, would be myself. So that day, I learned the best truth of life, one can never love others more than how we love ourselves. So the first priority, is to understand, accept, be honest with, respect, trust, and take full responsability for oneself.

Of course, many experiences came in the form of tests, to grow into this decision, and still feel that there is a long way to go, regarding self love, but I am thankfull to all what happened in my past, because is thanks to those experiences, the good ones and the bad ones, that I am here today, writting this, and looking forward for a life full of purpose, love and freedom.

In my late twenties I was again in a critical point, this time regarding work. I felt so emty at the current job I had, and also the current lifestyle I was carrying. The only thing I knew, is that I wanted that my job, would be on the benefit of others, and not just a matter of making money, paying bills and grow old. How difficult can be, to have the life that you really want? When you are in that messy point, in which you need that job to live, but you feel empty as a dead shell, and all you do to stop that emptyness, in becoming bigger and bigger, are temporary “fun stuff”. Until one day, I realized, that even those things, are as empty as everything else I was doing.

So I started to use all the knowledge on Human Development, Leadership, Coaching, Buddhism and Shamanism, that I had been learning those years, Coached myself and received mentoring, to find the right answer.  Finding your own life purpose, can be difficult, but finding a job that you really like, has to be easier. And of course, finding both, a purpose to live and a job that you love, have almost the same answer. So I took my chances and decided to reinvent my self as a professional, and from that point forward, everything became clearer, my footsteps became stronger and the vision of a life of purpose, started to seem posible.

Then I reached another moment, in which I took another life changing decision, that would be, making physical activity (training), a priority and a fundamental pillar for my life. On that day I had a confrontation with myself, because at the same time I was thinking, that I should train more often and make it part of my lifestyle, my mind would give me all kind of crappy excuses, such as, “I have no time, I have no money, etc”. And looking at a bonfire I shut off that mind, and replied, “hey, you don’t need money to go to a park and do some squats and pushups, or run a mile. And regarding time, you just need to priorize it, organize your agenda, and do it.” I mean, you only need motivation, and there is, when i started to understand my lack of motivation towards life and my current job, and that strong desire to find a purpose. I could see with certainity, all what I needed was to make the decision and start doing it, right now, so two days later, i started and kept doing it until today (6 years later).

Thanks to training and determination, I developed skills like, self motivation, resilence, perseverance, consistency. I became more tenacious, my self-steem improved, all together with some physical changes, becoming stronger and braver. Training taught me that “fear”, is not my enemy, unless I let it, it is a teacher and a friend that shows me all those things that I could be good at, but that I just need to invest more time and more effort, because if you follow a good training program and eat healthy, you will get the results you want, the only thing you need to do, is to keep doing it, no matter what.  So the way to make fear into your ally, is by trusting who you are, what are you doing, and what you want to become, and stop making excuses.

The second good thing about all this training, is that I discovered a new passion, which is coaching and training people. For some years I always wanted to develop professionally as a Life Coach and was doing it for some time. Training and the passion for it, gave me a way to make a new carreer, this two skills, together with my tireless search for a deep meaning of life, gave me the vision I was looking for as a purpose. What if I could be able to support and help others to find themselves, find their purpose and meaning of life, be there to motivate and inspire with my own life as an example, that everything is posible, that everything we dream can be done, if we just do it. The same way, my mentors and coaches where there for me, I dreamed of becoming a human being like them, someone whom to look up and receive inspiration, human wisdom, love and caring. Be completly congruent with my own ideals, emotions and actions. I knew this was no easy task, almost like a never ending one. But one of many thoughts I had, that pushed me to do it, was that, “If i am alive, I have the chance to do it, and I just need to believe in my self and my dream, and devote to it, breath it every day, and never surrender, even if things get hard”.

If I train my self physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, I can be that human being, I thrive to be, I can be my own light and show to others, that there is always a way to make things happen, that life can be fullfilling, that the job we have, can become one of purpose and hope, that like the sun shines every morning, we all can do it too. I know, that there are others like me, with the same motivation, I know that there are millions of people wandering if they can become aware, and fullfill their hopes and dreams. And for sure I know that is possible to do it, every day until our time of death, we can live our dreams.

Coach Félix Fuenzalida