Core Habits: Why everybody should know about them

The key to act in consequence with our inner truth is rooted in the habits that will help you grow and nurture your most important objectives and purpose.

This article will help you understand what core habits are and why you should have a clear vision about them.

Identifying our habits

We all have habits, thats a clear thing, but not all of them have the same importance or we prioritize them in the same manner. When we are kids we are normally taught basic habits by our parents and teachers at school to help us adapt and progress through life. Some of those we as adult may keep and others not.

Then as young adults we start choosing all sort of new habits that are closer to our personal interest, but we don’t always succeed on growing them because of lack of motivation and discipline.

If I could ask anyone how many habits do you have and how many of them did you choose, how many of them do you work consistently on or how many of your habits are you aware of. I wouldn’t be surprised to find that somebody ansers: «I am not sure how many habits do I have, maybe most of my current habits were grown at a young age motivated by my enviorenment, I can only work consistently in 1 or 2 habits, maybe I am not fully aware of all my habits».

When speaking about habits I like to separate them into 3 categories, external habits, internal habits, unconscious habits.

The external habits are those that represent any kind of behavior that is directly related to our occupation, relationships and self expression. Like at what hour do you wake up, how many days do you workout, your working hour schedules and routines, how do you intercat with others and what sort of relationships do you build. Basically anything that requires to interact direclty with the outside world.

The internal habits are subconscious layers of our behaviors that happen in our psyche. Emotional patterns, mental patterns and the interaction between them that normally fuel and motivate our external habits. «I workout because it makes me feel happy» for example, could be seen as only one habit, but in reality is formed by a group of them, external and internal repeteative actions that together build up the behavior and the habit.

Also everytime I get angry or lose patience I shout to the person that apparently is to blame, afterwards I feel guilt for my lack of self control and this generates a feeling of distrust, sadness and frustration, which may be strengthening a current habit that is always present in all my relationships, but because people accept the way I act, then the habit is never changed.

So we could observe all the habits going on in that sequence and understand why I can never feel real happiness within myself and my couple. In that sense we need to understand that habits don’t work as a singular action, they are all related to each other like a plate of pasta, making it hard to recognize where is the begining or the end.

The third kind of habits, the «unconscious» are all the habits that we constantly do and we aren’t aware of. So basically most of them unless you have done a big job indentifying how your pshyche is built and also, you are consciously choosing every word you think and say, every aspect of your life and how you manage every relationship. Personally I believe that being fully aware of everything is an endless work and the risk is to fall into an over-restrictive and excesive control way of life, that in result can bring stress and unhappiness overall if there is no balance and healthy ways to manage yourself.

The Habit Hierarchy

One solution to become aware in a healthy way of our habits is to learn their hierarchy, basically giving them a value and focusing on those who are really important. By prioritizing our habits we also learn to be coherent with our truth and core values.

The question we need to ask is: To which values are my habits related?

When we start taking care of the most important habits that define our current life, the way we act, the way we feel, the way we look, the way we think, the way we share and connect to others, then all the rest of our behaviors, patterns and small habits will fall like domino pieces. The seceret is to take care of the root first and then take precise attention over the branches, if necessary.

Core values and Core Habits

Once you have identified your top 5 core habits (the ones that basically sustain who you are internally and externally) is good to get a deeper understanding about them by making a cross comparisson to your core values. If there is a habit that is not coherent with any of the most important values it means that there is somethig you will want to change.

Either you change that habit or review your values and check if that is who you really are and want to be. By addressing your values and habits you build a powerful structure that will give support to your overall life. Also by identifying your core values you will know why and what really motivates you, which will be transfered as a fluid energy source for you and your daily life.

Here are a set of questions to help you recognize the core habits that you need to reach any objective in your life.

  • What are the 3 most important things in my life?
  • What do I do in a daily and weekly basis to nurture this parts of my life?
  • What am I not doing but I know I should be doing to get better on this 3 aspects or objectives?
  • What values motivate me to have this habits in my life and get better at them?
  • Which habits could I change or let go to prioritize those that are most important to me?

Please share your answers with me and this blog post with your friends if you feel it can help anybody to improve their life!

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Staying positive is an act of courage

In a world full of dangers being positive is an act of courage.

Be willingly to choose a positive attitude towards our everyday challenges is a key component to understand what true happiness means.

In this article we will review how important is to make conscious decisions to stay positive and how to deal with negativity, apathy and hopelessness.

Being Positive is a Choice

It may sound obvious but is not. The perspective from which we experience life is conditioned by external forces, emotional awareness, thought patterns, educational level, cultural values and finally from our internal truth.

The last one, being the most important one, normally is the weakest or the less conscious, because is easier to let ourselves be swayed by all the external conditioning that we have received over the course of the years. Then the capacity to intentionally change from our «programming» over a new way requires incredible inner strength, veracity and time to create new behavioral patterns.

But even with all this, we always have the choice to think and live with optimism and positivity. As everything else, it will require practice, constant practice.

Subjective Awareness

When two people are facing the same situation, each one of them will have very different perspectives over it, even if there is a collective experience, the perspective remains subjective or individual.

So the first thing to understand is that your experience is unique and the way you live it is also unique because first of all, it will never be repeated again. You may try to repeat it with the same conditions over and over again, but you will experience your own changes, so in that matter, the observer of the experience is always changing, therefore there is only one real experience for everything and it always happens in the present moment.

Thanks to this we experience something called «learning process or adaptation». The more we repeat an experience, we get more used to it, we learn more efficient ways to do it and deeper levels of understanding and experiencing it. In the end our experiences become memory, which becomes knowledge that we may use to change the results of any experience and in time we may say that the sum of all of it is viewed as wisdom.

The more aware we become to our own behavioral patterns and get better at observing patterns around us, we get better at understanding our world around us too. The exercise of observation is by far the best learning tool at our hand.

The Observer and The Judge

To be a good observer one must always remain free and neutral but the way we are constructed as human beings makes this very difficult, because our instinct responds to experiences with very basic and real emotions that make all the difference in our everyday choices. Either we like something or we reject it.

Liking is reinforced by pleassure, sense of oneness and joy. Rejecting is reinforced by fear, anger and apathy. So in some moment The Observer transform into a Judge. The judge will decide whether something is acceptable and repeatable or not. Because the Judge is a mental abstraction composed not only in our instinctive behaviors but also in our rationality, it will unify concepts like «values» into our core and act in coherence.

When the Judge is strongly conditioned it is very difficult to ask from him to act differently. So we must appeal to the observer which has the capacity to stay neutral and intentionally change the Judge behaviors. Because the Judge has been constructed over strong values, we will be confronted and is exactly at this point in which we will require courage to rebel against the Judge and the values behind him.

Negativity, Apathy and Hopelessness

Negativity and pessimism are a disease that intoxicates the Judge when there have been too many experiences that reinforce them, but they can also be a choice. They are the first enemy to defeat, acting like big bullies telling that something is not possible, that you are not good enough, that you don’t have enough value or that you don’t deserve good and happiness.

They are the harbingers of apathetic behaviors and we must act with strength against them so they don’t reinforce such attitudes. If not, those emotions and mental states will easily manipulate you with guilt and make you fall in the pit of hopelessness where you will just wait for the day of your death without any light in your soul.

How to deal with negativity

There are 5 mental and emotional attitudes that will help anyone to deal with negativity and transform their life experience into a positive one.

  • Acceptability: The capacity to observe any experience as it is and remain untouched. It gives you the distance to understand and act from your inner truth and not conditioned by the effects of the experience.
  • Gratitude: It helps you reinforce the positive parts of your life and identify to the experiences that caused them, helping you to change your mood and emotional disposition to other experiences.
  • Self-Compassion: The true meaning of compassion is born from within and we must be able to give it to ourselves before to anyone else. Treating yourself with kindness, open hearted love will calm any negative emotion and protect you from self-destructive behaviors.
  • Presence: When being present you give to yourself the chance to let go the past and see that today is a new day with new opportunities. Be here now and the door of peace will open for you.
  • Equanimity: Nothing is so bad and nothing is so good, or said differently, things could be worse or better. By cultivating the notion that extremes are subjective to our perspective, we may remain centered and less affected by negative emotions or blinded by positive ones.

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Yoga Saint-Tropez

Yoga, Fitness and Meditation in Saint-Tropez Book Your Class Today! Private and group classes for people that prioritize their Health and Fitness Life is movement, and from this premise, we learn how to move in ways that our body reaches new limits. Our practice (physical discipline) should bring us health and well-being, altogether, it should…

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I wish this article has been useful to you and if you want to have a deeper conversation about it I invite you to contact me or see my coaching plans to start transforming your life for good!