There is no magic pill, do or do not

There is no magic pill to make the changes you want in your life or is it?

In this article we explore why people don’t succeed when following a magical recipe to achieve their goals and how we can change that.

We can’t change anything if we believe that coaching programs, diets or any kind of training are like a magic pill that will transform who we are without being accountable and persistant.

Expectations vs Reality

For any kind of transformation that you are purposely working for, you will require time. How much? It will depend on your level of commitment, your own capacity to adapt and change, many external factors that act in a direct way in your life and your own mental attitude.

We should always look into expectations with skepticism and avoid magical thinking. It is better to be as realistic as possible to have an idea of how challenging it will be so we can bring up all the energy required to go through. Because our brain is lazy and doesn’t like to make big efforts or spend too much energy, we need to trick him.

Once we have corrected any sort of magical thinking and approach the tasks to complete our goals, we need to keep us vigilant from day dreaming into magical thinking again, specially those moments where we feel lazy or unable to commit. The best way to do this is to take a slight step backward and see how much you have improved so far and look into the whole process with the same skepticism, seeing all the good and the bad too. Where are we feeling successful and well driven and where we need to make corrections.

To do or not to do?

Now the best course of action is to set ourselves into motion. Doing is always better than not doing, unless not doing is the doing.

How can we see the difference? One person told me once that if I was doubtful about something it was better not do and wait. But then are you going to keep waiting all your life to be certain about something in order to start doing? It can be tricky because under certain circumstances, is better to do and some others is better not to.

The big question is: How much am I ready to risk? Are you ready to risk your professional position, your financial situation, your relationship status, your physique, your on going lifestyle, your thoughts and the stories you tell to yourself at night before sleep, your values, your honor? Where is your limit, and how much are you willing to risk in order to achieve your goals? In other words, how much value do you give to that objetive, dream or vision in comparisson to your present life?

The 80/20 rule of life

Sometimes we are going to be 100% sure about something, but even with that level of determiantion, we will never know exactly what are going to be our results, unless we put ourselves into action, so I say there is never 100% certainty about nothing…

Thats why I like the idea of the 80/20 rule. If I am 80% certain and determinated about something then is worth to take the risks and set into action. Life is constantly moving and so are we, so we can’t expect the same level of anything all the time forever. But if the 80% persists within a certain range (70% to 100%), then its a go. If it goes below my underlimit and I am certain this is what I wanted but many things have made my energy, focus, etc to become so low, then I should to take a small pause. A «not doing» kind of doing and see what happens. Taking distance gives us perspective and let us renew our energy and convictions.

We do the same thing with strength, flexibility and almost any kind of training. We have very high volume weeks and then we have low level weeks where we deload and release the stress produced by the high training so our body can adapt to all the new adaptations it has gone through.

Weight lose diets includes cheat meals from time to time, to do the same kind of effect in our psychology and hormonal levels. We need to decompress and make a safe pause to release the tension produced.

The right program

We have talked so much in other articles in this blog about the importance of mindset and how to keep it up and the fundamental necessity to turn into action our dreams to transform them into achievable goals and long term objectives. Yes but one thing that will surely help us to stay on that 80% level and get the results we want is the right program or guide.

It is true that at the beginning doing anything is better than nothing, but as we advance we need a program that help us specifically to get where we want to be. Thats why there are so many coaches like me out there trying to teach you with their systems how to do something. How to get those results. Again, without an action driven attitude and the right mindset is impossible to persevere and succeed.

What we need is to follow the plan with commitment and staying accountable. When this two things are clear, 80% of the job is done. That is why a coach can be so helpful, because you will get a specific program and an accountability partner to go throughout the process succesfully. In the end you are doing the hard job, nobody is going to take it off from you, but as soon as you start getting results you will understand how much of importance is to have a great coach with you.

Do you want to get serious and real results? Call me and lets start our journey together!

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Master the art of repetition success

In this blog post we will review what do we need to do in order to get to the level we want to be, which I believe if you are reading this article, is the best you can achieve.

For anything you want to be good at you need to practice it and that means repetition. For many people sounds boring and they just give up the idea of becoming great at something, and that is what separates normal people from profesionals and it is also what separates them from true masters.

Repetition is the key to mastery because we teach our brain the skills that are necessary to be the best we can. We teach our body how to move, how to sleep and wake up, we teach our mind how to think and how to manage our feelings and emotions. We teach ourselves how to deal with any external situation, how to overcome any challenge.

Only by repeating we discover the power that the practice has in us and we are able to meet our goals. Until the day we are completely incapacitated or dead we can always try again. So repeat and repeat and repeat, when bored or tired, take a short break, inspire yourself with the world outside and then continue repeating until the end.

The Mastery Mindset

If you want to become the best version of yourself then you will want to know what is the mindset required for that. Maybe you are half aware of it, but if our mindset is not clear, then the ritual to keep that mindset «on» will not be clear and in the end we will fall from the most typical mistake we all do; To not even know how to be constantly connected and conscious of what sort of thoughts, emotions and just any other habit to be the person you want to be.

So the fact is that when we put ourselves into any kind of endeavour we will have to do things that don’t produce instant pleasure, in fact they will make us suffer. Like leaving sugar or waking up at 5am or stop going to the bar after work and instead visit our parents. If you decided to become a doctor and you are not willingly to study and have thousands of over nights shifts, then just don’t waste your own time and don’t start something that you are not willing to finish up.

Said this, the three most desired components to have the best mindset are: Relentlesness, focus and commitment.

The meaningful sacrifice

There are small sacrifices and big sacrifices we all make regardless of who we are and where we come from. We are constantly making choices, some of them lead us closer to the life we want and others not. In the end we can’t really know if our decisions were the right ones until is too late, we make mistakes and thats part of life too. We can prevent some of them by being more aware and improve our decision making skills.

Even said all this, in some moment, we need to sacrifice something to reach the new level we want. Maybe we need to leave those friends that only do trash talk and drinking and instead meet people with common goals and activities. Maybe we need to sleep less time, and maybe we need to be ultra organized with our time. But for whatever it is, is better to make this sacrifices a conscious one and choose them from your own will rather than let life force you into sacrifices you didn’t even wanted. You can choose to be a drift or navigate the storms you chose.

When you own your sacrifice, then you recognize the value of your energy and time and real trust surges from within. Nobody will ever be able manipulate you or seduce you out from your life purpose. You will own your life, your challenges will be yours to take and you will have and build the strength to go through out any storm victorious.

The desired atributes

Imagine you are an amazing artisan doing your thing. What are the most important atributes that you would need to be that artisan?

Think about this for a minute and then ask your self, if you have those atributes. If you have them, give yourself a mark of your current level and ask yourself how can you improve them.

How much time do you spend in your craft? How much concentration do you put while at it? Are you 100% present all the time when working for that in which you want to get a real mastery? What are the external circumstances that won’t let you do that and what are the internal habits and attitudes that are really not helping you out.

If you are ready to give a step forward, then show your level of commitment and let go those things that are opposing your purpose. If you are trully that passionate and confident about it, you will find the way to change the cards and transform your life completely.

The environement

Changing our environment is as important as changing from the inside. Little transformations give a great refreshment and more doable than big environment changes. Here is a list of things to take care of when wanting to really focus and become the best version of yourself.

  • Tidy up your home and office frecuently.
  • Have a specific place for your activity.
  • Speak with positive minded people that makes you feel all is possible.
  • Have a way to express your frustrations and fears so they don’t intoxicate you.
  • Separate yourself from energy vampires and toxic friends and family.
  • Spend quality time with your beloved.
  • Go out to nature as frecuently as possible.
  • Walk!

The last resource

The last resource is the first resource and that is you. By learning how to meditate and breath with awareness you will learn how to unlock stored energy, transform any sort of negative emotion and enjoy your life with quality.

Do it daily and anytime. 5 minutes is better than none and what you win by repeating the act of sitting down and connect to yourself by breathing is priceless.

You can be doing this while you perform any other thing and it makes it one of the best tools to access our nervous system and hack it to become truly masters of ourselves.

I wish you a great sucess in everything you do.

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Staying positive is an act of courage

In a world full of dangers being positive is an act of courage.

Be willingly to choose a positive attitude towards our everyday challenges is a key component to understand what true happiness means.

In this article we will review how important is to make conscious decisions to stay positive and how to deal with negativity, apathy and hopelessness.

Being Positive is a Choice

It may sound obvious but is not. The perspective from which we experience life is conditioned by external forces, emotional awareness, thought patterns, educational level, cultural values and finally from our internal truth.

The last one, being the most important one, normally is the weakest or the less conscious, because is easier to let ourselves be swayed by all the external conditioning that we have received over the course of the years. Then the capacity to intentionally change from our «programming» over a new way requires incredible inner strength, veracity and time to create new behavioral patterns.

But even with all this, we always have the choice to think and live with optimism and positivity. As everything else, it will require practice, constant practice.

Subjective Awareness

When two people are facing the same situation, each one of them will have very different perspectives over it, even if there is a collective experience, the perspective remains subjective or individual.

So the first thing to understand is that your experience is unique and the way you live it is also unique because first of all, it will never be repeated again. You may try to repeat it with the same conditions over and over again, but you will experience your own changes, so in that matter, the observer of the experience is always changing, therefore there is only one real experience for everything and it always happens in the present moment.

Thanks to this we experience something called «learning process or adaptation». The more we repeat an experience, we get more used to it, we learn more efficient ways to do it and deeper levels of understanding and experiencing it. In the end our experiences become memory, which becomes knowledge that we may use to change the results of any experience and in time we may say that the sum of all of it is viewed as wisdom.

The more aware we become to our own behavioral patterns and get better at observing patterns around us, we get better at understanding our world around us too. The exercise of observation is by far the best learning tool at our hand.

The Observer and The Judge

To be a good observer one must always remain free and neutral but the way we are constructed as human beings makes this very difficult, because our instinct responds to experiences with very basic and real emotions that make all the difference in our everyday choices. Either we like something or we reject it.

Liking is reinforced by pleassure, sense of oneness and joy. Rejecting is reinforced by fear, anger and apathy. So in some moment The Observer transform into a Judge. The judge will decide whether something is acceptable and repeatable or not. Because the Judge is a mental abstraction composed not only in our instinctive behaviors but also in our rationality, it will unify concepts like «values» into our core and act in coherence.

When the Judge is strongly conditioned it is very difficult to ask from him to act differently. So we must appeal to the observer which has the capacity to stay neutral and intentionally change the Judge behaviors. Because the Judge has been constructed over strong values, we will be confronted and is exactly at this point in which we will require courage to rebel against the Judge and the values behind him.

Negativity, Apathy and Hopelessness

Negativity and pessimism are a disease that intoxicates the Judge when there have been too many experiences that reinforce them, but they can also be a choice. They are the first enemy to defeat, acting like big bullies telling that something is not possible, that you are not good enough, that you don’t have enough value or that you don’t deserve good and happiness.

They are the harbingers of apathetic behaviors and we must act with strength against them so they don’t reinforce such attitudes. If not, those emotions and mental states will easily manipulate you with guilt and make you fall in the pit of hopelessness where you will just wait for the day of your death without any light in your soul.

How to deal with negativity

There are 5 mental and emotional attitudes that will help anyone to deal with negativity and transform their life experience into a positive one.

  • Acceptability: The capacity to observe any experience as it is and remain untouched. It gives you the distance to understand and act from your inner truth and not conditioned by the effects of the experience.
  • Gratitude: It helps you reinforce the positive parts of your life and identify to the experiences that caused them, helping you to change your mood and emotional disposition to other experiences.
  • Self-Compassion: The true meaning of compassion is born from within and we must be able to give it to ourselves before to anyone else. Treating yourself with kindness, open hearted love will calm any negative emotion and protect you from self-destructive behaviors.
  • Presence: When being present you give to yourself the chance to let go the past and see that today is a new day with new opportunities. Be here now and the door of peace will open for you.
  • Equanimity: Nothing is so bad and nothing is so good, or said differently, things could be worse or better. By cultivating the notion that extremes are subjective to our perspective, we may remain centered and less affected by negative emotions or blinded by positive ones.

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Yoga, Fitness and Meditation in Saint-Tropez Book Your Class Today! Private and group classes for people that prioritize their Health and Fitness Life is movement, and from this premise, we learn how to move in ways that our body reaches new limits. Our practice (physical discipline) should bring us health and well-being, altogether, it should…

Practice with me in Saint-Tropez! Yoga Saint-Tropez

I wish this article has been useful to you and if you want to have a deeper conversation about it I invite you to contact me or see my coaching plans to start transforming your life for good!

Keep it simple, a strategy to live lighter

Living a simple life

In this article I will show you a basic strategy to transform from feeling stuck and heavy to feel in trust with clarity and light.

What sort of person are you? Do you simplify your life or do you find it complex and difficult?

I have listened the word «complicated» one trillion times in my life, and usually the people that most use it are the ones that are more frustrated with their life, job or relationship. They will usually feel stuck and slow with hundreds of problems at the same time, no one more important than the other, everything just messy and unclear.

In the other hand people that have a lighter way of life, tend to be optimistic and solving problem oriented, they fix their attention in solutions and when there is nothing to do about something or feel uncertain on which road to take, they know how to wait and stay in silence until things get clearer.

So you may become a person that flows through life, allowing your inner creativity to show you the way through whatever obstacle and with the capacity to stay in silence to wait and listen what your inner truth is about.

Step 1: Clean up your room and mind

Before any further action we need to clean up, trash everything that is not making sense anymore in our life and make space for the new. Creativity can’t grow in a place that is full. You will not have new positive thoughts and ideas if you are full of the old ones that has kept you where you are now.

There are so many ways to do this, but the more space we leave the better. Get rid of any thought, belief, material possession, relationship, etc. that is not letting you walk the way you know you could. Or perhaps you don’t know but you wish it.

I know is hard, we have attachment to our old stuff. But take a serious decision and leave it. Perhaps in the future you will get a better one, or you may find the time to «fix it». But the first step is to let it go.

Make a list of the things in your life that are just there using space and energy and prioritize those that need to be trashed right now.

Step 2: Embrace silence

Silence can be our best friend, although it can be difficult to remain in it. Our mind is always making noise and life is always busy, together with so many distractions such as social media, tv shows, etc. The more space and silence we can create, the more clarity and capacity to listen we will develop.

I recommend to have a daily meditation practice. Sometimes 10 minutes can make a big difference, but we need to create this habit, which may be a bit difficult. In that case I suggest to follow guided meditations or yoga classes to learn and build up the habit in us.

Another thing I recommend is to do a technology fast. Just stay one complete day without looking at your phone and TV. Shut off all electronic equipment in your home and just do some other activities like art, music or bonding with your partner, family or pets. Take care of your garden, go out to nature, sleep. Any of this activities will help you connect with your inner silence. Avoid talking to people if you are too social and extroverted. Just take a time for yourself without any distraction.

Step 3: Go into Zen Mode

Less is better. Avoid the tendency to fill up all the empty spaces and learn to see the beauty of emptiness. You will discover that as solitude, it is very enriching because the little things you have already, will become more meaningful. Also you will always have «free space» to create something new, to change and move things up. To adapt to a new lifestyle, add better habits and so on.

The more things and thoughts you have, the more energy you need to spend on them. Life can be very exhausting when you have so many activities and responsibilities to take care of. Learn to focus on the most important ones and do your best. You will discover that your capacity to be present will be improved, you will become mindful and better at anything you do. It is all about redirecting our energy to the most important activities only.

From time to time, repeat this steps to maintain your life light. Imagine you can put all your life in one bag, what would you chose? Now bring this example to your thoughts and emotions. What thoughts would you chose to keep and which other would you prefer to let go?

Cultivating a Zen mode habit is the best way to keep yourself in peace and able to enjoy life better.

How can I choose what to keep and what let go?

Make yourself this questions

  • Is this vital for me? Will I or somebody die without it?
  • Will my life change drastically if I let it? For good or bad. If good you keep it, if bad you let it.
  • Could it be replaced for something better? Can I replace it right away?
  • Do I REALLY need it? Or it is just for fun and pleasure.
  • Could I use that space for something else or even letting it empty?
  • Is this helping me get the results that I want in my life? Have the lifestyle that I wish? The performance that I want? The health that me and my family deserve?
  • How could be my life without it? How could be my life with more of this?

Send me a message if you wish to go deeper into how to get into ZEN MODE!

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Yoga, Fitness and Meditation in Saint-Tropez Book Your Class Today! Private and group classes for people that prioritize their Health and Fitness Life is movement, and from this premise, we learn how to move in ways that our body reaches new limits. Our practice (physical discipline) should bring us health and well-being, altogether, it should…

Practice with me in Saint-Tropez! Yoga Saint-Tropez

Inner Strength: Awaken your power within

Why is important?

If you pay attention to how life works, you will understand that strength is one of the most important abilities that anyone and any living being needs in order to survive. It is the mother of many other capacities that without strength would be dormant.

Of course there are several kinds of strengths and different dimensions to it. But in my opinion the most important one is the strength that comes from the spirit. The power of will, to exist, to be which is innate to our spirit and consciousness in the same way energy is released from the sun.

We could use the sun as a symbol of the raw and real strength that comes within our essence. We should imagine ourselves like a burning star in the cosmos giving constant energy and all sort of radiations to the entire universe.

Without those stars, life in our planet would be impossible, and in the same way, without our power of will, our life could not persevere.

How strength influences our life?

Visualize strength as a raw material that you need to create other skills; such as determination, vigor, patience, perseverance, resilience, wisdom, compassion, control, intelligence, concentration, and much more. You name it, any kind of activity you put yourself into, will ask you to make effort in some extent. Will need you to adapt or change in order to bring new results or outputs. Will require your capacity to repeat the same action or process several times until you reach your desired goals.

Discipline and Strength

If strength is the raw energy, discipline is what gives the shape. It has the capacity to empower it, remove the excess and give a purpose. But discipline without strength is useless, you can’t be a disciplined person without being strong. You need both together, even if you have tremendous amounts of inner strength, without the intelligence of discipline it will be lost. The beauty in this is that when you start working in order to build strength, at the same time you create discipline.

What have I learnt from strength training?

  • Our body needs to adapt and external changes take their time to become «permanent». Grow the strength of patience.
  • It is a slow process, we don’t have to rush things over, if you are strong enough to persevere, you will see results, without a doubt.
  • Growth is not linear, adaptation and change are a constant. There are ups and downs, be relentless.

What have I learnt from meditation practice?

  • A clear mind is awake and ready to act anytime, it commands and empower your body with determination.
  • A mind that is able to stay concentrated even in harsh environments is stronger and superior than a mind that doesn’t.
  • Emotional strength and stability is only available for us when there is enough consciousness.

How can I grow my inner strength starting today?

  • Wake up to see the sunrise.
  • Do physical strength training 2 or 3 times a week.
  • Meditate 10 minutes daily.
  • Do fasting once every month.
  • Express your feelings in a healthy way.
  • Have cold showers.
  • Learn to be lonely in silence.
  • Practice forgiveness, gratitude and compassion.

Was this article useful? Let a comment to know your experience!

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Yoga Saint-Tropez

Yoga, Fitness and Meditation in Saint-Tropez Book Your Class Today! Private and group classes for people that prioritize their Health and Fitness Life is movement, and from this premise, we learn how to move in ways that our body reaches new limits. Our practice (physical discipline) should bring us health and well-being, altogether, it should…

Practice with me in Saint-Tropez! Yoga Saint-Tropez

Vinyasa Krama Yoga in Saint Tropez

Vinyasa Krama Yoga in Saint Tropez – France

Are you coming to Saint Tropez area, and you would like to practice yoga?

Here I wrote this article for you to know a little bit of what you will find if you practice with me.

Where does it come from?

Vinyasa Krama Yoga was developed by Srivatsa Ramaswami, direct student of Sri T. Krishnamacharya, who trained with him from over 30 years. The base of its practice is to connect the beautiful flows and transitions with breathing, generating consciousness in a harmonious way, uniting movement with a focused mind.

Fast or Slow?

There is a misconception on Vinyasa Yoga, that it has to be done fast.

Normally we will go to Vinyasa classes where you don’t stop or hold the Asanas. But in my personal opinion, we can’t move fast, if we can’t move slow. Only through holds, we generate self knowledge of each Asana.

Many movements are way harder when we do them slow, and the way our body improves is much more efficient, regarding strength, endurance and control.

Also, the correct way to practice Vinyasa Krama Yoga is, that if I move slow, my breathing should be slow, and if I move fast, my breath has to go fast. This requires a lot of concentration and focus, to really generate union between them.

Normally in my own practice, I prefer to start slow, until I feel 100% connected into a flowing breathing movement. Then it starts being faster and with less time holding the Asanas, but only in a speed that the breath-movement flow is not lost. If my breath starts being faster due to lack of endurance, then I will come back to longer holds.

I picture it as a dance, both (breathing and movement) have to go together at the same pace, otherwise the rythm is lost.

Sequences and Creativity

What happens if we always repeat the same sequence? We get very good at it, but at nothing else.

That is why, I believe that we have to explore different ways to come from one Asana into another. Different ways will generate different connections in our nervous system.

Once we get good at some basic movements and transitions, we should explore into different ways to reach them. We develop an encyclopedia of movements in our brain and body. And from time to time, get back to the basics and repeat them again, so we widen our base. Through time and practice we will be able move in lots of different ways and our practice will seem limitless.

The only constant is change. One day we will choose a peaceful relaxing practice and some other day we will prefer a vigorous one. Depending in how we feel, what our body and mind needs, external circumstances, etc. So we should play with this, feel free to create and explore, and the most important thing, learn to listen to your body.

Because we should always aim for balance, if we only practice in one specific way, we lose our balance too. Our practice should have several goals, rather than just relax, or strength or flexibility. It should take them all in account and give time for all of them to develop.

We will always have some preferences, such as doing handstands or just sitting into breathwork and meditation, but because we are a whole, and this practice focuses on that, then we have to practice what it doesn’t feel confortable or fun to us. With the correct guidance and support, we will learn how to reach new limits and produce a true change in ourselves.

Adapted Practice

Does the practice has to adapt to the practitioner? Or on the contrary, the practice should be rigid and is the practitioner that has to adapt to it?

I believe that is the practice the one that has to be adapted. First, based on the nature of our bodies. Our body structure will tell us, where our limits are. Then, after getting better at practicing within them, we can start exploring the possibility of widen them, little by little. But always considering our health and well-being as a priority.

Sometimes in the same classes we will find people with very different level of practice and physical conditions. In my experience, high level practitioners tend to focus their practice more specifically, and novice practitioners, will do just what they can.

How do we find a balance under this circumstances? I believe that, by focusing on the base, even a high level practitioner will gain from it, and the novices will learn and have fun at the same time.

Opening the door to Meditation

Moving in fancy ways is fun, but Yoga is much more than just movement. It should be a door to Meditation.

We should at least have as we have a yogasana practice every day or 3 times a week, we also should meditate in the same way in a different practice time or moment, but we all know how hard is to do this, very few have the discipline to get into it for a long period of time, and I include myself into this group. That is why, when we practice Yoga, it should be taken as an opportunity to meditate, first in an active way, and then, spend 5 to 10 minutes sitting down.

If we don’t do this, then Yoga transforms only in a gymnastics practice. Which for many, including myself, is a deformation of its original purpose.

As I mentioned before, the practice has to adapt to each person, but it also should keep a certain structure that enables anyone to develop all kind of skills, and meditation is one of them, probably the most important one.

There are enough studies that reveal how good is meditation for our health and life in general. And originally, Yoga was developed, to enhance the practitioner capacity to stay in a sitted position for meditation. So even if we end up doing fancy handstands or backbends, we have to remember, that the real purpose for our practice is to meditate.

Vinyasa Krama in Saint Tropez

If you read until this point of this article, you will know exactly what will you find if you attend to my classes. Private or groupal, the base will remain the same. We will work hard, to gain focus and control, over our mind and body.

I invite you to practice with me, in any circumstance, as a Private course or Group classes. We will learn the bases of Pranayama and Meditation. We will talk about some deep concepts that can clear our understanding of life and ourselves, and we will practice and sweat together in the rhythm of Vinyasa Krama Yoga.

Are you coming to Saint Tropez area? Click here, for more information.

Homenaje a mi Padre

Decidí escribir un artículo en homenaje a mi amado Padre, y me lo tomo primero como una forma de agradecerle a él la vida que me dió. También es una forma de rescatar todo lo positivo que él ha generado en mi vida, todos esos rasgos que tengo y que son espejos del modelaje paternal que recibí durante mi infancia y adolescencia.

Para comenzar me declaro a mí mismo, un rebelde, con y sin causa, en momentos de lucidez y en momentos de confusión. Y la primera persona con la que me rebelé, fuiste tú. Ahora a mis 33 años, veo que lo hice en esos momentos como una forma de sentirme dueño de mis decisiones, pero en un acto de sinceridad, lo hice también para decirte, mírame aquí estoy. Quería simplemente llamar tu atención, y sentir que me aceptabas.

A veces es difícil reconocer que lo que en verdad queremos es amor. Y es tan fundamental esta necesidad humana, de sentirnos conectados al amor, a través de quienes nos lo enseñaron y mostraron desde nuestro nacimiento. Siento que es hasta más importante que el mismo aire que respiramos, y que por variadas razones, no siempre logramos sentir esa conexión.

Esta desconexión que tuve por muchos años en relación a tí, me hizo sentir en muchos momentos, soledad. Una soledad vacía que me costaba comprender, y me engullía en angustia, tristeza y rabia. Sentir que estás siendo rechazado por la persona que te dio la vida, es un símil al suicidio, a perder toda esperanza de vida, a perderse a sí mismo, encontrando poco significado para mantenerse de pie y seguir hacia adelante.

Aunque dicen que la naturaleza es sabia y nos da justo lo necesario para crecer y aprender, me hubiera gustado sentir que estabas de mi lado, en esa edad en la que más lo necesitaba. Cuando poco o nada entendemos del mundo, y en vez de sentirte como mi enemigo,  sentir que con amor me enseñabas a tener coraje, a confiar en mí mismo, sin importar las dificultades que vinieran. Simplemente no te puedo puedo culpar, ya que te esforzaste trabajando de domingo a domingo, para darnos a mi y mis hermanos, la mejor vida posible, con las mejores posibilidades y siempre dándonos la oportunidad de elegir qué era lo mejor para nosotros, sin ser impositivo ni controlador.

Tengo un espíritu de guerrero, fuerte y sabio, y eso me ha llevado hasta el hombre que soy hoy. Y te agradezco que hayas sido como fuiste. Ahora me doy cuenta que si me hubiera gustado sentirme aceptado, que me lo hubieras hecho saber, que mis decisiones eran válidas para tí y que las respetabas. En vez de criticarlas o juzgarlas. Al final, hoy, puedo ver que lo has hecho, hemos madurado juntos como Padre e Hijo, y puedo decirte estas cosas a la cara.

Un gran amigo y mentor espiritual, me dijo una vez; «La aceptación es la llave para la felicidad». Y esta frase que me acompaña desde ese entonces, me ha dado fuerza, ánimo y despertado en mí, un sentimiento interno de compasión por los demás. Y es esta práctica de la aceptación la que me lleva a escribirte hoy, honrarte en este espacio, tan íntimo y personal. Decirle al mundo lo importante que eres para mí. En verdad deseo que estas palabras nos sirvan para estar más unidos hoy y que les sirvan a otros que han se hayan sentido «lejos o desconectados» de su padre, que pueden hacer las paces, que este es un acto que nace del corazón, que podemos hacerlo una y otra vez a lo largo de nuestra vida y que los que ya son padres o desean serlo, puedan modelar en sus hijos un comportamiento sano, de crecimiento, de amistad, respeto, confianza, valor y entereza.

En mis «20» hice varias búsquedas internas, comenzando por la mismísima decadencia y autodestrucción al salir de la adolescencia y luego una más elevada, que me conectó profundamente con la naturaleza y mi espíritu. Asistí a varios retiros de liderazgo, meditación y chamanismo, donde poco a poco fui sanando la amargura y soledad de mi corazón, hasta convertirla finalmente en alegría, regocijo y felicidad. Y si bien aún me siento en el proceso de sanación, puedo ver hacia atrás el camino recorrido, puedo ver mi niñez y decir gracias.

Hace unos días atrás estábamos ordenando una estantería llena de libros antiguos, fotocopias y carpetas con hojas. Entre todo esto encontré una antigua fotografía, donde estabas enseñándome a caminar cuando yo tenía 1 año de edad, aproximadamente. Rápidamente la tomé y la guardé, me fui a otra habitación y lágrimas comenzaron a brotar de mis ojos, un sentimiento profundo y muy real se estaba apoderando de mí. Era una mezcla de tristeza y felicidad que me inundaba y me llenaba. «Mi papá, mi papito», pensé en ese momento, e incluso ahora que lo escribo, vuelvo a sentirme igual. Una emoción contenida quizás por muchos años. Esto es tan potente, que pensé en compartirlo, al comienzo por redes sociales, pero, realmente elegí darle un espacio en mi Blog, ya que no quiero que se pierda en el devenir de la comunicación digital inmediatista y que pueda obtener cierta permanencia, no sólo por razones terapéuticas, sino que por motivos de trascendencia.

Si esto me ha afectado a mí, también podría estar afectando de igual, menor o mayor manera a otros hombres en este planeta. Y siento un llamado fundamental a compartir esta experiencia con ustedes y que les sirva de la mejor manera en su desarrollo humano.

No quiero centrarme en teorías psicológicas, sobre el desarrollo del autoestima, o de la importancia de sanar las relaciones con nuestra figura paterna y materna, respectivamente. Ya que prefiero que sea un escrito cargado de emoción y de verdad humana. Y que haya un contexto de integración, sincero y profundo.

papa y yoEn este artículo, quiero decirte que me siento conmovido totalmente por esta imagen nuestra, donde me sujetas de los brazos y me ayudas a dar mis primeros pasos. Me doy cuenta, de cómo has continuado haciéndolo, siempre a tu manera, hasta el mismo día de hoy. Quiero decirte que puedo reconocer y ver todo el esfuerzo y el sacrificio que has puesto en el desarrollo mío y de mis hermanos. Puedo ver tu sufrimiento como hombre, puedo ver tus errores, puedo ver tu humanidad vulnerable, y sobre todo esto, puedo ver el inmenso e ilimitado amor que me has dado, hasta el día de hoy.

Quiero honrarte porque quiero que seamos amigos, quiero que te puedas apoyar en mí, quiero me ayudes a crear un nuevo mundo, donde los hombres y mujeres, honran a sus padres y los amen, en donde los padres y madres del mundo, honren y amen a sus hijos, y la sabiduría inmensa del amor, los guíe a tomar las mejores decisiones posibles.

Quiero decirte que te dedico mi trabajo, mi vida, mi legado. Por que, gracias a ti estoy vivo y soy quien soy. Por eso te dedico mis éxitos y victorias. Sé que puedo compartir contigo también mis fracasos, mis metidas de pata y que me escucharás y estarás ahí para mí. Porque tú estás en mi corazón para siempre, estamos juntos, Padre e hijo, amigos, guerreros y hombres sabios y sensibles, artistas, viajeros del mundo interior.

Que este homenaje se impregne en nuestro espíritu, que nos devuelva la fortaleza perdida, que nos llene de energía positiva y poderosa y que se extienda a todos los padres e hijos que por cualquier causa, lo necesiten. Estoy seguro que si todos nos atrevemos a reconocer nuestro dolor y nos entregamos a nuestra vulnerabilidad, es nuestra fortaleza interna la que se maximiza, que reconocer nuestras heridas, sólo nos puede volver mejores. Que la verdadera sanación viene del espíritu indomable, puro, como el de un caballo que corre libre por las praderas. Que con su fuerza interna y su liderazgo natural, se entrega a la vida misma.

Hoy es nuevo día, y el sol nos muestra el camino, hacia el mañana que queramos recorrer.

Te amo Papá.