There is no magic pill, do or do not

There is no magic pill to make the changes you want in your life or is it?

In this article we explore why people don’t succeed when following a magical recipe to achieve their goals and how we can change that.

We can’t change anything if we believe that coaching programs, diets or any kind of training are like a magic pill that will transform who we are without being accountable and persistant.

Expectations vs Reality

For any kind of transformation that you are purposely working for, you will require time. How much? It will depend on your level of commitment, your own capacity to adapt and change, many external factors that act in a direct way in your life and your own mental attitude.

We should always look into expectations with skepticism and avoid magical thinking. It is better to be as realistic as possible to have an idea of how challenging it will be so we can bring up all the energy required to go through. Because our brain is lazy and doesn’t like to make big efforts or spend too much energy, we need to trick him.

Once we have corrected any sort of magical thinking and approach the tasks to complete our goals, we need to keep us vigilant from day dreaming into magical thinking again, specially those moments where we feel lazy or unable to commit. The best way to do this is to take a slight step backward and see how much you have improved so far and look into the whole process with the same skepticism, seeing all the good and the bad too. Where are we feeling successful and well driven and where we need to make corrections.

To do or not to do?

Now the best course of action is to set ourselves into motion. Doing is always better than not doing, unless not doing is the doing.

How can we see the difference? One person told me once that if I was doubtful about something it was better not do and wait. But then are you going to keep waiting all your life to be certain about something in order to start doing? It can be tricky because under certain circumstances, is better to do and some others is better not to.

The big question is: How much am I ready to risk? Are you ready to risk your professional position, your financial situation, your relationship status, your physique, your on going lifestyle, your thoughts and the stories you tell to yourself at night before sleep, your values, your honor? Where is your limit, and how much are you willing to risk in order to achieve your goals? In other words, how much value do you give to that objetive, dream or vision in comparisson to your present life?

The 80/20 rule of life

Sometimes we are going to be 100% sure about something, but even with that level of determiantion, we will never know exactly what are going to be our results, unless we put ourselves into action, so I say there is never 100% certainty about nothing…

Thats why I like the idea of the 80/20 rule. If I am 80% certain and determinated about something then is worth to take the risks and set into action. Life is constantly moving and so are we, so we can’t expect the same level of anything all the time forever. But if the 80% persists within a certain range (70% to 100%), then its a go. If it goes below my underlimit and I am certain this is what I wanted but many things have made my energy, focus, etc to become so low, then I should to take a small pause. A “not doing” kind of doing and see what happens. Taking distance gives us perspective and let us renew our energy and convictions.

We do the same thing with strength, flexibility and almost any kind of training. We have very high volume weeks and then we have low level weeks where we deload and release the stress produced by the high training so our body can adapt to all the new adaptations it has gone through.

Weight lose diets includes cheat meals from time to time, to do the same kind of effect in our psychology and hormonal levels. We need to decompress and make a safe pause to release the tension produced.

The right program

We have talked so much in other articles in this blog about the importance of mindset and how to keep it up and the fundamental necessity to turn into action our dreams to transform them into achievable goals and long term objectives. Yes but one thing that will surely help us to stay on that 80% level and get the results we want is the right program or guide.

It is true that at the beginning doing anything is better than nothing, but as we advance we need a program that help us specifically to get where we want to be. Thats why there are so many coaches like me out there trying to teach you with their systems how to do something. How to get those results. Again, without an action driven attitude and the right mindset is impossible to persevere and succeed.

What we need is to follow the plan with commitment and staying accountable. When this two things are clear, 80% of the job is done. That is why a coach can be so helpful, because you will get a specific program and an accountability partner to go throughout the process succesfully. In the end you are doing the hard job, nobody is going to take it off from you, but as soon as you start getting results you will understand how much of importance is to have a great coach with you.

Do you want to get serious and real results? Call me and lets start our journey together!

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How much do you owe to yourself

In this article we will put a light into why we still feel like we owe something to ourselves and we ain’t doing something about it.

Why is it that we postpone those activities that have a direct effect on our personal life but still we don’t commit to them? Why is it that we struggle so much with our personal discipline in comparison to being commited to external things and other people?

Basically we need to understand that there is a natural resistance to commit to personal disciplines because they change the way we live and there is an area of us that doesn’t want this change. We kind of want the benefits of a certain habit or activity but we don’t want to transform our whole lifestyle in order to stay commited.

There is also a biological factor, the way we live, think, feel, express, learn, etc meaning any experience is determined by our nervous system, so any change that we might want to make, we will have to make it also in our own brain. This is a big effort for him, it requires lots of energy, create new neuronal connections, reinforce them by repetition and basically teaching to our body the new way to be and do. Because our entire system took so many years to be the way it is, the older we get the harder is to change it. Its just too much work.

Fortunately this can change and its called neuroplasticity, the more we engage into new experiences, learn new stuff and keep healthy “brain workout” habits, the more we increase our possibilities to transform inside out. Travelling, meditation, languages, math, physical training, are just a few of ways to make our system to change.

Priority check

What are your priorities? What have been your priorities for the past 10 or 5 years? What priorities would you like to change or renew? Taking some time to reflect into our priorities is the best way to discard anything that we might believe we want but we are not prioritizing, because in the end if we are always feeling like we could do more or something different but we are never engaging actively into it, then the number one reason is that we don’t really want do it. Being honest to ourselves is good and we should not be embarassed to accept that we don’t want to look fit, we don’t want to stop eating ice cream or we don’t want to change our social lifestyle.

The priority meter

One good exercise is to make a list of your priorities, usually something in between 6 to 12, you draw a circle, give to each one of them a current level of accomplishment from 1 to 10 and ask yurself in a short term how much you would like to improve their level and what actions are you going to take right now to do so. Write down the date and hang it on the wall in a very visible way so you never lose sight of your priority activities.

Spot your kind of resistance

Right after you know your priorities with certainty you will want to spot on what kind of resistances you will have to beat up. I believe this is as important as the first part because we may do the motivational coaching job to define our next goals a thousand times and never really getting them. We need to know our enemy that lies in the shadows and we know it very well, it is just so good at hidding itself. Here is a list of the most common resistances that we all might have.

  • Attachment, addiction.
  • Comfort, lazyness.
  • Evasion, procrastination.
  • Overthinking, doubt.
  • Fear, distrust.
  • Lack of motivation and vision.

Once you have clarity over your main resistances you will be able to create a strategy to overcome them and step forward towards a life in which you feel really happy and connected to your own self, with the peace that you are actually doing everything that is in you to feel that way and having the results you wanted.

Accountability peers and coaching

Asking for help is one of the simplest way to introduce changes in our life, changing our social circle, having an accountability partner, sorround yourself with people with same goals and aspirations, and so on. Because there are some neurons that act as mirror and they literally copy the neurons of other people, we can induce behavioral changes by imitating how others drive their life.

Finally having a coach can be very transformative in various ways and can help you to jump from level 0 to 100 faster and better. Not because a coach is a divine being, but because is a person that has studied and perfectioned techniques to do so. Also because to be a coach and set an example to others, that individual had to overcome his/her own negligence. In the end nobody is an exception to the rule, we are all human beings with sort of the same problems and challenges.

If you want to get a call with me just send me a DM and will happily help you as much as I can.

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Master the art of repetition success

In this blog post we will review what do we need to do in order to get to the level we want to be, which I believe if you are reading this article, is the best you can achieve.

For anything you want to be good at you need to practice it and that means repetition. For many people sounds boring and they just give up the idea of becoming great at something, and that is what separates normal people from profesionals and it is also what separates them from true masters.

Repetition is the key to mastery because we teach our brain the skills that are necessary to be the best we can. We teach our body how to move, how to sleep and wake up, we teach our mind how to think and how to manage our feelings and emotions. We teach ourselves how to deal with any external situation, how to overcome any challenge.

Only by repeating we discover the power that the practice has in us and we are able to meet our goals. Until the day we are completely incapacitated or dead we can always try again. So repeat and repeat and repeat, when bored or tired, take a short break, inspire yourself with the world outside and then continue repeating until the end.

The Mastery Mindset

If you want to become the best version of yourself then you will want to know what is the mindset required for that. Maybe you are half aware of it, but if our mindset is not clear, then the ritual to keep that mindset “on” will not be clear and in the end we will fall from the most typical mistake we all do; To not even know how to be constantly connected and conscious of what sort of thoughts, emotions and just any other habit to be the person you want to be.

So the fact is that when we put ourselves into any kind of endeavour we will have to do things that don’t produce instant pleasure, in fact they will make us suffer. Like leaving sugar or waking up at 5am or stop going to the bar after work and instead visit our parents. If you decided to become a doctor and you are not willingly to study and have thousands of over nights shifts, then just don’t waste your own time and don’t start something that you are not willing to finish up.

Said this, the three most desired components to have the best mindset are: Relentlesness, focus and commitment.

The meaningful sacrifice

There are small sacrifices and big sacrifices we all make regardless of who we are and where we come from. We are constantly making choices, some of them lead us closer to the life we want and others not. In the end we can’t really know if our decisions were the right ones until is too late, we make mistakes and thats part of life too. We can prevent some of them by being more aware and improve our decision making skills.

Even said all this, in some moment, we need to sacrifice something to reach the new level we want. Maybe we need to leave those friends that only do trash talk and drinking and instead meet people with common goals and activities. Maybe we need to sleep less time, and maybe we need to be ultra organized with our time. But for whatever it is, is better to make this sacrifices a conscious one and choose them from your own will rather than let life force you into sacrifices you didn’t even wanted. You can choose to be a drift or navigate the storms you chose.

When you own your sacrifice, then you recognize the value of your energy and time and real trust surges from within. Nobody will ever be able manipulate you or seduce you out from your life purpose. You will own your life, your challenges will be yours to take and you will have and build the strength to go through out any storm victorious.

The desired atributes

Imagine you are an amazing artisan doing your thing. What are the most important atributes that you would need to be that artisan?

Think about this for a minute and then ask your self, if you have those atributes. If you have them, give yourself a mark of your current level and ask yourself how can you improve them.

How much time do you spend in your craft? How much concentration do you put while at it? Are you 100% present all the time when working for that in which you want to get a real mastery? What are the external circumstances that won’t let you do that and what are the internal habits and attitudes that are really not helping you out.

If you are ready to give a step forward, then show your level of commitment and let go those things that are opposing your purpose. If you are trully that passionate and confident about it, you will find the way to change the cards and transform your life completely.

The environement

Changing our environment is as important as changing from the inside. Little transformations give a great refreshment and more doable than big environment changes. Here is a list of things to take care of when wanting to really focus and become the best version of yourself.

  • Tidy up your home and office frecuently.
  • Have a specific place for your activity.
  • Speak with positive minded people that makes you feel all is possible.
  • Have a way to express your frustrations and fears so they don’t intoxicate you.
  • Separate yourself from energy vampires and toxic friends and family.
  • Spend quality time with your beloved.
  • Go out to nature as frecuently as possible.
  • Walk!

The last resource

The last resource is the first resource and that is you. By learning how to meditate and breath with awareness you will learn how to unlock stored energy, transform any sort of negative emotion and enjoy your life with quality.

Do it daily and anytime. 5 minutes is better than none and what you win by repeating the act of sitting down and connect to yourself by breathing is priceless.

You can be doing this while you perform any other thing and it makes it one of the best tools to access our nervous system and hack it to become truly masters of ourselves.

I wish you a great sucess in everything you do.

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Core Habits: Why everybody should know about them

The key to act in consequence with our inner truth is rooted in the habits that will help you grow and nurture your most important objectives and purpose.

This article will help you understand what core habits are and why you should have a clear vision about them.

Identifying our habits

We all have habits, thats a clear thing, but not all of them have the same importance or we prioritize them in the same manner. When we are kids we are normally taught basic habits by our parents and teachers at school to help us adapt and progress through life. Some of those we as adult may keep and others not.

Then as young adults we start choosing all sort of new habits that are closer to our personal interest, but we don’t always succeed on growing them because of lack of motivation and discipline.

If I could ask anyone how many habits do you have and how many of them did you choose, how many of them do you work consistently on or how many of your habits are you aware of. I wouldn’t be surprised to find that somebody ansers: “I am not sure how many habits do I have, maybe most of my current habits were grown at a young age motivated by my enviorenment, I can only work consistently in 1 or 2 habits, maybe I am not fully aware of all my habits”.

When speaking about habits I like to separate them into 3 categories, external habits, internal habits, unconscious habits.

The external habits are those that represent any kind of behavior that is directly related to our occupation, relationships and self expression. Like at what hour do you wake up, how many days do you workout, your working hour schedules and routines, how do you intercat with others and what sort of relationships do you build. Basically anything that requires to interact direclty with the outside world.

The internal habits are subconscious layers of our behaviors that happen in our psyche. Emotional patterns, mental patterns and the interaction between them that normally fuel and motivate our external habits. “I workout because it makes me feel happy” for example, could be seen as only one habit, but in reality is formed by a group of them, external and internal repeteative actions that together build up the behavior and the habit.

Also everytime I get angry or lose patience I shout to the person that apparently is to blame, afterwards I feel guilt for my lack of self control and this generates a feeling of distrust, sadness and frustration, which may be strengthening a current habit that is always present in all my relationships, but because people accept the way I act, then the habit is never changed.

So we could observe all the habits going on in that sequence and understand why I can never feel real happiness within myself and my couple. In that sense we need to understand that habits don’t work as a singular action, they are all related to each other like a plate of pasta, making it hard to recognize where is the begining or the end.

The third kind of habits, the “unconscious” are all the habits that we constantly do and we aren’t aware of. So basically most of them unless you have done a big job indentifying how your pshyche is built and also, you are consciously choosing every word you think and say, every aspect of your life and how you manage every relationship. Personally I believe that being fully aware of everything is an endless work and the risk is to fall into an over-restrictive and excesive control way of life, that in result can bring stress and unhappiness overall if there is no balance and healthy ways to manage yourself.

The Habit Hierarchy

One solution to become aware in a healthy way of our habits is to learn their hierarchy, basically giving them a value and focusing on those who are really important. By prioritizing our habits we also learn to be coherent with our truth and core values.

The question we need to ask is: To which values are my habits related?

When we start taking care of the most important habits that define our current life, the way we act, the way we feel, the way we look, the way we think, the way we share and connect to others, then all the rest of our behaviors, patterns and small habits will fall like domino pieces. The seceret is to take care of the root first and then take precise attention over the branches, if necessary.

Core values and Core Habits

Once you have identified your top 5 core habits (the ones that basically sustain who you are internally and externally) is good to get a deeper understanding about them by making a cross comparisson to your core values. If there is a habit that is not coherent with any of the most important values it means that there is somethig you will want to change.

Either you change that habit or review your values and check if that is who you really are and want to be. By addressing your values and habits you build a powerful structure that will give support to your overall life. Also by identifying your core values you will know why and what really motivates you, which will be transfered as a fluid energy source for you and your daily life.

Here are a set of questions to help you recognize the core habits that you need to reach any objective in your life.

  • What are the 3 most important things in my life?
  • What do I do in a daily and weekly basis to nurture this parts of my life?
  • What am I not doing but I know I should be doing to get better on this 3 aspects or objectives?
  • What values motivate me to have this habits in my life and get better at them?
  • Which habits could I change or let go to prioritize those that are most important to me?

Please share your answers with me and this blog post with your friends if you feel it can help anybody to improve their life!

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Staying positive is an act of courage

In a world full of dangers being positive is an act of courage.

Be willingly to choose a positive attitude towards our everyday challenges is a key component to understand what true happiness means.

In this article we will review how important is to make conscious decisions to stay positive and how to deal with negativity, apathy and hopelessness.

Being Positive is a Choice

It may sound obvious but is not. The perspective from which we experience life is conditioned by external forces, emotional awareness, thought patterns, educational level, cultural values and finally from our internal truth.

The last one, being the most important one, normally is the weakest or the less conscious, because is easier to let ourselves be swayed by all the external conditioning that we have received over the course of the years. Then the capacity to intentionally change from our “programming” over a new way requires incredible inner strength, veracity and time to create new behavioral patterns.

But even with all this, we always have the choice to think and live with optimism and positivity. As everything else, it will require practice, constant practice.

Subjective Awareness

When two people are facing the same situation, each one of them will have very different perspectives over it, even if there is a collective experience, the perspective remains subjective or individual.

So the first thing to understand is that your experience is unique and the way you live it is also unique because first of all, it will never be repeated again. You may try to repeat it with the same conditions over and over again, but you will experience your own changes, so in that matter, the observer of the experience is always changing, therefore there is only one real experience for everything and it always happens in the present moment.

Thanks to this we experience something called “learning process or adaptation”. The more we repeat an experience, we get more used to it, we learn more efficient ways to do it and deeper levels of understanding and experiencing it. In the end our experiences become memory, which becomes knowledge that we may use to change the results of any experience and in time we may say that the sum of all of it is viewed as wisdom.

The more aware we become to our own behavioral patterns and get better at observing patterns around us, we get better at understanding our world around us too. The exercise of observation is by far the best learning tool at our hand.

The Observer and The Judge

To be a good observer one must always remain free and neutral but the way we are constructed as human beings makes this very difficult, because our instinct responds to experiences with very basic and real emotions that make all the difference in our everyday choices. Either we like something or we reject it.

Liking is reinforced by pleassure, sense of oneness and joy. Rejecting is reinforced by fear, anger and apathy. So in some moment The Observer transform into a Judge. The judge will decide whether something is acceptable and repeatable or not. Because the Judge is a mental abstraction composed not only in our instinctive behaviors but also in our rationality, it will unify concepts like “values” into our core and act in coherence.

When the Judge is strongly conditioned it is very difficult to ask from him to act differently. So we must appeal to the observer which has the capacity to stay neutral and intentionally change the Judge behaviors. Because the Judge has been constructed over strong values, we will be confronted and is exactly at this point in which we will require courage to rebel against the Judge and the values behind him.

Negativity, Apathy and Hopelessness

Negativity and pessimism are a disease that intoxicates the Judge when there have been too many experiences that reinforce them, but they can also be a choice. They are the first enemy to defeat, acting like big bullies telling that something is not possible, that you are not good enough, that you don’t have enough value or that you don’t deserve good and happiness.

They are the harbingers of apathetic behaviors and we must act with strength against them so they don’t reinforce such attitudes. If not, those emotions and mental states will easily manipulate you with guilt and make you fall in the pit of hopelessness where you will just wait for the day of your death without any light in your soul.

How to deal with negativity

There are 5 mental and emotional attitudes that will help anyone to deal with negativity and transform their life experience into a positive one.

  • Acceptability: The capacity to observe any experience as it is and remain untouched. It gives you the distance to understand and act from your inner truth and not conditioned by the effects of the experience.
  • Gratitude: It helps you reinforce the positive parts of your life and identify to the experiences that caused them, helping you to change your mood and emotional disposition to other experiences.
  • Self-Compassion: The true meaning of compassion is born from within and we must be able to give it to ourselves before to anyone else. Treating yourself with kindness, open hearted love will calm any negative emotion and protect you from self-destructive behaviors.
  • Presence: When being present you give to yourself the chance to let go the past and see that today is a new day with new opportunities. Be here now and the door of peace will open for you.
  • Equanimity: Nothing is so bad and nothing is so good, or said differently, things could be worse or better. By cultivating the notion that extremes are subjective to our perspective, we may remain centered and less affected by negative emotions or blinded by positive ones.

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Yoga, Fitness and Meditation in Saint-Tropez Book Your Class Today! Private and group classes for people that prioritize their Health and Fitness Life is movement, and from this premise, we learn how to move in ways that our body reaches new limits. Our practice (physical discipline) should bring us health and well-being, altogether, it should…

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I wish this article has been useful to you and if you want to have a deeper conversation about it I invite you to contact me or see my coaching plans to start transforming your life for good!

Cultivating strong and positive beliefs

How can I strengthen positive beliefs? What are the best techniques to transform the way I think? How can I change the way I perceive myself?

Short answer: By having the right habits that will allow you to stay always on a “positive attitude” and that will help you get out fast from any sort of negativity, stress or pessimism.

In this article I will teach you what to do to become a positive thinker and what techniques are the best to transform your beliefs and self perception.

What are positive or negative beliefs?

Beliefs are strong ideas that have rooted deep into our mind and body making us to perceive them as beliefs. They have been taught and strengthened through time by our environment. They define the way we perceive every experience and the way we respond to it. Basically they are the factors that will limit us or let us be who we are.

A belief will usually define something. When it becomes to strong it is transformed into prejudgment. They reflect our values and our emotional states. Every experience that we have will be a reflection of them, because we are set into activities, those activities have repercussions. The reason we choose to do one thing or another is usually established by what we consider correct, reasonable or likeable.

Those things are defined by the beliefs we have on them and what they should produce in our life once we get it. But we are not straightforward or linear, we are contradictory, we have contradictory beliefs and somehow “good and bad” merges as one in our internal chaos.

There are the beliefs you inherit, that you learn and the ones that you wish to have. In another way of saying it; “there is the person you are and the person you want to become”. And what enables you to change will be in part the capacity to transform those beliefs that represent the old self into the ones that represent the new self.

Lighter beliefs are easy to change, heavier and older ones is much more challenging. Even some of them may linger with us for the rest of our life. It will be up to you, if you do all what is necessary, if you are really interested in changing and if you have enough skill and mental resilience to go through a transformational experience.

Beliefs are nourished by our behavior

There are 3 doors for any action. The door of the mind which involves our thoughts, the door of the mouth that involves what we “say” and the door of the heart that involves what we actually DO physically speaking with our body.

If you want to change a belief, you need to address the behaviors that are directly related to it. It can be a mental / emotional pattern that is always looping, it can be some words you constantly repeat unconsciously or it can be something you do. Every action has emotional responses which mean they change our hormonal ecosystem, which transforms our entire brain and body.

Detecting physical habits like smoking or eating is way easier than recognizing how we communicate, what sort of emotions our words are charged with and what emotions lies below the surface. Also is even harder to stay focused enough to observe what sort of thought we have during the day and during specific experiences and situations.

Regardless of your level of consciousness making the effort to change one external behavior is much better than staying the same for years.

What are the best techniques to transform our beliefs?

  1. Meditation is the best and at the same time for many people the hardest. Today is so easy to find teachers and guided meditation apps that if you are not trying is because you don’t know it can help you or you just want to stay as you are.
  2. PNL & Coaching are amazing ways to explore and become more conscious, together with therapy they can really be a game changer.
  3. Yoga & Fitness will bring big benefits to our physical body, we will start looking better and feeling better, this will have a great impact in our life.
  4. Travel and living abroad are great ways to expand and see different cultures. By changing our environment e allow ourselves to change our beliefs too. The external world will serve as a mirror to find out more about ourselves.
  5. Music, performance and arts act like catalysts for our creativity and help us let go emotions that may have become stagnated or imprinted in our self identity. When we use any of this methods to express our feelings we also are liberated so we can create a new self.

What is your experience with this techniques? Which one works better for you? Let us know in the comments below!

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Yoga, Fitness and Meditation in Saint-Tropez Book Your Class Today! Private and group classes for people that prioritize their Health and Fitness Life is movement, and from this premise, we learn how to move in ways that our body reaches new limits. Our practice (physical discipline) should bring us health and well-being, altogether, it should…

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Be unstoppable: The power to believe you can

The power to believe

I can. I can. I can. I can do it. I can be. I can have. I can change. I can move. I can fight. I can rest. I can understand. I can learn. I can listen. I can communicate. I can express. I can teach. I can explore. I can forgive. I can remember. I can love. I can feel. I can cry. I can smile. I can enjoy. I can create. I can grow. I can live. I can die.

In this article we will explore the power to believe, how to get a clear idea of our priorities and how empower them to make them come true.

The act of believing is the main act

The most powerful act is to believe in ourselves, in our objectives, in our dreams. When things get difficult, when things get stuck, when feeling paralyzed or overwhelmed, the act of believing will get us out, will set us into action, will change our mood, fill our motivation and courage to do whatever is necessary.

When things are easy and smooth we don’t give so much importance to it, but in desperate times it turns out our beacon of hope. We must light it up with spells and affirmations, with positive thinking and with focus on the present moment.

What can we do now, with what we have in the best way possible?

Turns out that we don’t always meet the ideal requirements to fulfill our goals. Some days ago I read a post from a person stating that the main difference in between successful people and those who aren’t is that the successful people will focus on doing imperfectly rather than waiting for the ideal time.

You want to make videos but you only got your mobile. You want to workout but you can’t afford a gym membership. You want to travel but you don’t have the time or money for it. You want to invite your couple for a romantic date but you lack ideas or don’t feel attractive enough.

There are countless times in which our ideals are far from our reality, nevertheless when doing them anyway you discover a sense of progress and commitment. When you are able to cross through the excuses and put yourself into action anyway, perhaps you don’t get the most desirable results but the ones you get are better than doing nothing.

90% of the people I talk with, will tell me their “situation” and when given a possible solution they will answer like “My problem is…” and even if you continue giving them more solutions their answer will always start in the same way. At some point I ask if they really want to make a change or whats the whole idea of stressing up about something that in reality they don’t want to change!

It is tiring for them, it is tiring for their interlocutor and it is just a waste of time. If you are up to something, just do it and search for results later. When getting dead serious about it, you will find solutions, you will know what to do or what you need to prioritize.

Solution oriented mindset

If you are struggling with many things at the same time or you feel lost and stuck I have a very good exercise that will really help you out. It is a very simple way to detect and clarify everything that is troubling you, all the possible solutions and what to prioritize first.

  1. Make a list of all your problems, troubles and things you need to change or results you want to bring.
  2. Make a parallel list with all possible solutions for each one of them.
  3. Connect those that depends on each other, which solutions would address more than one problem, giving them an order of importance.
  4. Clarify your number 1 priority/solution that would help fix as many problems as possible or that would set up the base to start fixing them.

When you get a clear answer out of it, put yourself in action, sometimes we attract the solution without doing much.

On 2021, I was feeling very lost and was hard to put myself in action. I did this exercise and discovered that the root problem and the main solution that would help me reach out my other goals was only one, I needed to improve my french!

2 weeks later an opportunity came to attend a language school. After several months of stagnation I felt like finally getting out from the dark forest, the path was clear again, the financial situation improved and since then, things got better and better.

To believe you can, you need clarity over your priorities

So rather than having a blind faith over a distant dream I would rather suggest to allow yourself to clarify and define your priorities and use the power of belief to empower them. Imagine you are firing an arrow, you need to visualize it reach its destiny and after you throw it, believe it will come where you aimed at, there is nothing else to do afterwards.

Charge your arrows with positive affirmations to enchant them. To do so write down what you want, state it in present tense, use only positive words. Close your eyes and imagine yourself firing arrows and using powerful words to command them to reach their aim with success.

After all, the rest is just repetition and patience. Have a great day and share this post with friends and family!

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How to conquer your confidence and thrive

To have confident means that you know your value and you are ready to risk yourself for what you want

Our confidence is not always at the same state and most of the time is focused on specific activities or skills, like: “I am confident to play an instrument but maybe not as much to solve mathematical equations”. One separate thing is to understand your own limitations and other is to have enough courage to do something new regardless of your level. Because nobody was born knowing how to do something and mastery of a certain skill takes effort and time, just being confident enough when a certain level is acquired and being paralyzed by that feeling, is a big detriment to change your life and thrive in new things, make a career change, etc.

In this article I will share with you where does confidence comes from and how to empower it by healing what is keeping us from our full potential.

Focusing our confidence inside and not externally

First we will want to make a difference in between focusing our confidence internally and externally. This means that when your source of confidence is “your personal value” and not “what others say about you” it will change completely the way you look at yourself and how others will perceive you as well. The meaning of happiness, success, peace, wealth, health and so on will not be determined by what others have or look like and how others perceive you, but on how you perceive yourself regardless of your current situation.

The way you talk to yourself is the way you identify with your current “state of mind”. The more you reinforce feelings like self-pity, guilt, or apathy, the more they will be part of your “persona”, your attitude towards life will be defined by this emotions and people will perceive you like a non trustful person. Therefore it will be harder to get better job opportunities, positive friends and a loving relationship with your significant other.

If you try to show to others how trustworthy you are, first you need to feel it deep in yourself, and that is a matter of attitude, self love and the capacity to see your reality with a certain objectivity. You can’t go there trying to make others happy and meet everybody’s expectations about yourself, if you don’t do that first with yourself. The results from doing that, which means being dishonest and treason your very own values, are destructive and cause of depression and suicide.

Things started to change drastically when I stopped focusing on my external situation and started giving real attention to my internal wellbeing. With simple activities such as enjoying time alone, being in nature, spending time with people that I felt loved, creating music or writing, dancing and doing sports. All this activities helped me to start seeing myself in another way, but what made the real change was to see myself as the only real source of energy and confidence, recognizing and accepting all those parts that needed attention and work and giving myself the time to do it.

Where lies the root of the lack of confidence?

Confidence is related to love, if you are a person that feels loved by “life or god”, by your family, friends and peers, you will get a better chance to have a good amount of confidence. In the other hand, the lack of it, may come from a harsh childhood or nobody modeling us how to act with confidence. Many people may have had a “normal” life and family but their parents or teachers never taught them how to feel secure.

The lack of confidence comes from 3 negative feelings that we all had experienced since childhood: rejection, abandonment and humiliation.

The key component on this emotions is that they act as the source of most of our fears and confidence is being able to see, accept and confront it. When deeply identified to one of this emotions, all our actions will be defined by it. For example, a person that is deeply identified to the feeling of rejection will do anything to be accepted, losing her truth and real value for a piece of attention from somebody else. A person with too much abandonment will try to fill his life with many fake friends, material things or food. A person that was very humiliated will act in a distrustful way with destructive tendencies on excesses and will try to humiliate others to feel better.

When the rejected feels confident, stop caring about others opinions. When the abandoned is in confidence, learns to value herself more and builds positive relationships. When the humiliated feels confidence is able to change the destructive behaviors and trust in others.

Confidence is the strength and courage that comes from love

If you are a person that is looking to become more confident I recommend you put your attention on how much love you are able to receive and give. Learn how to be in balance on how much of this “attention” is being directed towards yourself and how much is going outside to somebody else.

Here are 6 actions that you can do right now to start growing your confidence

  1. Start a healing process of your inner child with a therapist or coach, asking for help when our past or fears seem to big is a safe way to start transforming your life.
  2. Learn to accept your past without judgement or shame, instead be empathic and kind to yourself always.
  3. Make peace with family and friends by cultivating forgiveness and compassion. Find your balance and leave the past in the past.
  4. Recognize what makes you feel fear or out of place and risk to put yourself into the experience. (Try not to harm yourself or others in the process)
  5. Practice new skills and learn new things, meet new people, travel to new places. Every time you try something new, you give yourself the chance to be a new person too.
  6. Learn to meditate to understand that you, me and everything else is interconnected. That we are all together in this life and that there is no separation from you and everything else. We are all one and one is all.

If you are looking for help to become a much more confident person just send me a message, I will be happy to help you.

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Keep it simple, a strategy to live lighter

Living a simple life

In this article I will show you a basic strategy to transform from feeling stuck and heavy to feel in trust with clarity and light.

What sort of person are you? Do you simplify your life or do you find it complex and difficult?

I have listened the word “complicated” one trillion times in my life, and usually the people that most use it are the ones that are more frustrated with their life, job or relationship. They will usually feel stuck and slow with hundreds of problems at the same time, no one more important than the other, everything just messy and unclear.

In the other hand people that have a lighter way of life, tend to be optimistic and solving problem oriented, they fix their attention in solutions and when there is nothing to do about something or feel uncertain on which road to take, they know how to wait and stay in silence until things get clearer.

So you may become a person that flows through life, allowing your inner creativity to show you the way through whatever obstacle and with the capacity to stay in silence to wait and listen what your inner truth is about.

Step 1: Clean up your room and mind

Before any further action we need to clean up, trash everything that is not making sense anymore in our life and make space for the new. Creativity can’t grow in a place that is full. You will not have new positive thoughts and ideas if you are full of the old ones that has kept you where you are now.

There are so many ways to do this, but the more space we leave the better. Get rid of any thought, belief, material possession, relationship, etc. that is not letting you walk the way you know you could. Or perhaps you don’t know but you wish it.

I know is hard, we have attachment to our old stuff. But take a serious decision and leave it. Perhaps in the future you will get a better one, or you may find the time to “fix it”. But the first step is to let it go.

Make a list of the things in your life that are just there using space and energy and prioritize those that need to be trashed right now.

Step 2: Embrace silence

Silence can be our best friend, although it can be difficult to remain in it. Our mind is always making noise and life is always busy, together with so many distractions such as social media, tv shows, etc. The more space and silence we can create, the more clarity and capacity to listen we will develop.

I recommend to have a daily meditation practice. Sometimes 10 minutes can make a big difference, but we need to create this habit, which may be a bit difficult. In that case I suggest to follow guided meditations or yoga classes to learn and build up the habit in us.

Another thing I recommend is to do a technology fast. Just stay one complete day without looking at your phone and TV. Shut off all electronic equipment in your home and just do some other activities like art, music or bonding with your partner, family or pets. Take care of your garden, go out to nature, sleep. Any of this activities will help you connect with your inner silence. Avoid talking to people if you are too social and extroverted. Just take a time for yourself without any distraction.

Step 3: Go into Zen Mode

Less is better. Avoid the tendency to fill up all the empty spaces and learn to see the beauty of emptiness. You will discover that as solitude, it is very enriching because the little things you have already, will become more meaningful. Also you will always have “free space” to create something new, to change and move things up. To adapt to a new lifestyle, add better habits and so on.

The more things and thoughts you have, the more energy you need to spend on them. Life can be very exhausting when you have so many activities and responsibilities to take care of. Learn to focus on the most important ones and do your best. You will discover that your capacity to be present will be improved, you will become mindful and better at anything you do. It is all about redirecting our energy to the most important activities only.

From time to time, repeat this steps to maintain your life light. Imagine you can put all your life in one bag, what would you chose? Now bring this example to your thoughts and emotions. What thoughts would you chose to keep and which other would you prefer to let go?

Cultivating a Zen mode habit is the best way to keep yourself in peace and able to enjoy life better.

How can I choose what to keep and what let go?

Make yourself this questions

  • Is this vital for me? Will I or somebody die without it?
  • Will my life change drastically if I let it? For good or bad. If good you keep it, if bad you let it.
  • Could it be replaced for something better? Can I replace it right away?
  • Do I REALLY need it? Or it is just for fun and pleasure.
  • Could I use that space for something else or even letting it empty?
  • Is this helping me get the results that I want in my life? Have the lifestyle that I wish? The performance that I want? The health that me and my family deserve?
  • How could be my life without it? How could be my life with more of this?

Send me a message if you wish to go deeper into how to get into ZEN MODE!

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How to become self motivated and why

When all lights go down, is the light from within that gives us the energy to keep going towards our goals.

In this post I will give you 4 rituals to become a self motivated person and why this should be a priority in your life.

How does a self motivated person acts in a daily base?

A self motivated person is able to control her mindset in order to achieve her goals and dreams. If you learn how to get up by your own means without depending on any external factor you will win freedom and power. That is why is so important to understand how your psyche works together with your good and bad habits, in order to tweak and reinforce those that will bring you to your desired destiny.

If you depend too much in other people and external circumstances in order to feel motivated enough to move, you will always be “forced” by this external circumstances and will be too easy to lose sight of your priorities and purpose. In one hand we learn to make peace with all those things that are not under our control, in the other hand if we let them they can manipulate our energy, motivation and even destroy our dreams and hopes , our personal beliefs will be changed by “life circumstances” and we will lose our personal power to transform and thrive, you will find yourself under the control of everything or everyone else except you.

How can I become self motivated?

Basically you need rituals that teaches to your own system (psychological and neurological) how to be resilient and persistent. Those rituals should help you to remember why you started in the first place and how to keep in rail even if you are moving slow or fast. Also, you may need to cut off people and activities that are not helping you to be and think differently, that are distracting you from who you want to become, especially those that drain your energy and time.

Here I present you 4 rituals to become a self motivated person!

The awakening ritual: Write down on the wall your most important goals, read them every day and visualize yourself already there, every day when you wake up or when you go to sleep. Discover your big “WHY” and repeat it like a mantra. Use a special song that reinforce those feelings and images, everytime you feel down or under difficulties, listen to the song or playlist. Make it easy to remember with other elements such as a set of colors, an animal or clothes. For example: “Everyday after I leave my child at the school, I listen to my playlist and declare that this day I am making one more step to reach my goals”.

The movement ritual: Our brain makes better and stronger connections when we use physical movement while learning new intellectual things, such as memorizing something, doing math, etc. We can use anything movement related such as dance, martial arts, training, running, etc. to empower our beliefs, our vision, our goals, steps, and almost everything else. Make your “dance of success” or your own “motivational training” by combining both activities. Do it daily at anytime.

The creative ritual: When feeling stuck or unable to bring fast solutions for our challenges it is common to lose momentum. In order to get out of the black hole, creativity is our best friend. Paint, draw, play an instrument, write a story, make anything with your hands, play with your kids, use colors and tell your story on those pieces of creation, paint your dreams and wishes. Make lists of everything that needs a potential solution and write them down. Do some brainstorming and connect your ideas, the solutions and what can you do right now to start making progress.

The gratitude ritual: Gratitude is a powerful emotion that transforms all negative thinking and emotion. Give thanks for your life, give thanks for your opportunities and for your challenges, because is thanks to them that you reach your next level or desired goal. Especially give thanks to yourself from the past that led you to this present moment, that took the chances, that believed more than anyone else that it was possible. Give yourself a big thank you and embrace all your imperfections because even with them, you were able to move forward. Every night before sleeping show yourself some self gratitude and go to sleep with this feeling.

What else now?

One big reason we lose motivation is that we don’t have a sense of urgency or we wrongly believe that things can go back as they were before. What will happen if I fail? Then I can just go back being the person I once was?

Wrong. We are getting old. We are heading towards death. We are never the same, we can’t go back. Staying attached to a certain status quo will only make us lose the most important asset we’ve got, which is time.

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Yoga, Fitness and Meditation in Saint-Tropez Book Your Class Today! Private and group classes for people that prioritize their Health and Fitness Life is movement, and from this premise, we learn how to move in ways that our body reaches new limits. Our practice (physical discipline) should bring us health and well-being, altogether, it should…

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